Thursday, September 30, 2010

Consulting The Italians

May I just tell you something that drives me up a wall?  Of course I may, hello, my blog!  One phrase.  Two words.  "I'm Italian."

Let me elaborate. 

I don't have a darn thing against descendants of the big boot.  I love EVOO.  And the movie Under The Tuscan Sun.  And tiramisu. 

But I don't think that just because your triple great grandmother left the big boot for the great American dream on a boat generations before you were born has a darn tootin' thing to do with your likes and dislikes and general personality today.  Unless you still chat with her about the old country.  And that's just a whole other ball of wax, considering she passed decades ago.

I'm hot tempered because I'm Italian.

You're hot tempered because you need anger management classes and etiquette lessons.

I love pasta because I'm Italian.

You love pasta because everyone loves pasta.  And for the record, the Italians didn't actually invent pasta.  Tip of the hat the Chinese on that one.

I love food because I'm Italian.

Um, find me a group of people who don't like food.  I like air too but am pretty sure that's not because of my great great great granny.

I'm loud because I'm Italian.

I know lots of Italians who in no way, shape or form resemble RHNJ or Jersey Shore cast members.

I go tanning because I'm Italian.

Oh I'm pretty sure your ancestors didn't give a hoot about being tan.  You're tan because you have some sort of Oompa Loompa fetish.  Get out of the cancer bed and find a dermatologist.  Or therapist.

Guess what?  I'm American and don't give a flip.  I bet very few "I'm Italian" folks actually have that many roots in the boot anyway.  And why is that nationality so much more prideful on their history than most others?  I've yet to hear anyone say "I like that because my relatives whom I've never actually met used to live in Sweden" or "Australia" or "India."

I think it's great when people keep traditions alive today.  I love that people celebrate togetherness and family memories over mounds of food.  My non-Italian family does that too, you know!  And I think its fun when you share personality traits with your close relatives.  But that blanket me it is nearly as infuriating as when someone tells you they do consulting for a living. 

Consulting?  Consulting on what?  On how to run a business?  Build a bridge?  Watch TV and email from bed at the same time?  I "consult" people in the middle of the grocery store, fabric store, and coffee shop.  People frequently seek my "consulting" skills as I am walking my dog and they are lost in my city's maze of one way with two names streets.  Get over yourself and just tell me what you do for a living! 

I am clearly in a grumpy mood today.  My sinuses that have been out of whack on my right side are now working their way across my big head to the left side too.  This rain and air pressure are making matters worse.  I plan to loaf about in bed the rest of the day and come back tomorrow with more cheerful topics.  Like baby ruffle butts.  And puppy kisses.


Susan R said... can't see me, but I'm bowing to you right now. Thank you for this post.
I believe the phrase "Hey! I'm Italian" was coined by Rita Moreno in the movie "Four Seasons" which happens to be my favorite movie, but I believe the phrase was supposed to be an excuse for her poor behavior, manners and rudeness. So what are people saying then? Italians are loud mouthed, poorly mannered people? NO WAY! Not buying it. I think it's a personal problem that individual people have to work out for themselves.
Now, having said that, I believe most Italians, that I know anyway, are passionate about food, family and life. BUT, show me another nationality that isn't the same.

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Oh I agree that many are passionate about family and food. But so is everyone else!

Telia said...

PPC, you always say things so well! I kind of like it when you're grumpy (it makes for a great read, hahahah!)

P.S. Thanks for your crossed fingers. I'll let ya know when I know something ;)

Telia, NewlyWedWifeLife

KK said...

I feel the same way. We can be grumpy together.

Unknown said...

Lol, I say my daughter is the way she is because of her red hair, but she totally fits the stereotype! ;) However, I must say I agree about the I'm Italian thing. I know a guy who says he can drink more because he's Irish. As his great-great-great grandpa's blood keeps him from getting drunk... oh really?!

Anonymous said...

I'm quite Italian on my mom's side (her grandfather was from Italy) but I don't think I've ever used that phrase. However my mom's relatives do like to comment about how pale I am and how un-Italian I look. I'm with you on the "consulting" job description - it's too vague.


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