Monday, February 1, 2016

Name That Blogger!

At various times in my life, my name has been the bane of my existence.  My nickname, by which I am known to 98% of the people in my life, is KK.  Just those two little letters.  They come from the first letter of both my first and last name.  It seems so simple on paper.  But it can really throw people off.

"Haha...K and K?"
"Two K's??"
"Wait...just KK?"
"KK?  That's your name?"
"What does it stand for?"
"If you add one more K, it would be KKK."
"Do you know what it would be if you added one more K?"
"Does it stand for Karen Karen?" (I have honestly been asked this.)
"People really call you that?"
"I hate initial nicknames."
"I can't call you that because my friends will make fun of me for your name."
"I can't call you that because I know a lot of people with the same initials/nickname."
"I'm going to call you something else that I like better."
"That's a dumb name."
"Wait...what...say it again...K...K?"

And the beat goes on...

Clearly the general public has a strong opinion of initial nicknames.  Or at least my initial nickname.  

That's nothing though compared to my real first name.  That I am sharing for the first time ever on this blog.  Kirsten.  My first name is Kirsten.  The I comes before the R.  No one...and I one likes to give me the courtesy of spelling it correctly.  I have it down to a science when I need to give someone my name.  I never say it first if I can help it.  I only spell it.  Slowly.  K.  I.  {long pause}  RSTEN.  And still almost always gets spelled incorrectly.  

Which brings me to the worst part of this name {take note parents-to-be...unique names = lifelong suffering}.  Pronounciation.  

My senator, Kirsten Gillebrand, who lives up the road, spells her name the same way but pronounces her name differently from me {or I should say, my parents.  If I had been involved in this name game, I would have picked Ann.  Without the E.  Everyone can pronounce Ann.  No one fights an Ann and tells her they don't like her name or she's wrong or it just doens't work for them to give her the courtesy of pronouncing it correctly...}.  

My name is pronounced curse-ten. in I am going to bloody curse you if you pronounce it differently after I so kindly correct you 47 times { know who you are!}.  Not Kiersten.  Not Kristen.  Not Krissy, Kristal, Kristina, Kirsty, Kris, or Karen.  

I didn't pick my name.  I acknowledge that you dislike both my birth name and the nickname that I've begged you to please call me over and over and over again.  I hear you when you say it just doen't work for you.

But hear me now.  This is not funny to me.  This is my damn name.  Part of my identity.  It's not amusing to me or cute to me when you give me a laundry list of excuses you think are valid rationalizations to not give me the courtesy of calling me by the name I requested.  

I am just as worthy as everyone else of the respect to be called by my correct name.  If I introduce myself to you as KK, that's what you have permission to call me.  Just as if you introduce yourself to me as Patricia, I have permission to only call you Patricia, and not Pat or Trishy or Patty or Cia.  I don't get to pick a new name for you.  I don't get to change the way it's pronounced and then laugh when you grovel and beg me to please please pretty please give you the kindness required to just call you by the correct name.  

I am so sick and tired of begging.  It's embarrassing.  My name is tied to my identity.  It's two letters.  I'm in my late 30's.  I'm so over this discussion.  I'm so over being polite.  I'm so over being laughed at and mocked and belittled and told my name just doesn't work for you.  

Across the board, I have officially reached my breaking point.  Call me whatever you want in your head.  But if I am called anything other than KK out loud or in writing, I will simply stop calling you back.

This little crocodile has had one too many people the past few months change my name to suit their own damn needs.  

What's your name?  Does it give you grief too?  Or did you give your child a name that is sure to be a sore subject for decades to come? 

Sunday, January 24, 2016

5 Love Languages

I took the 5 Love Languages test again this week as I had forgotten what my results were from the previous tests.  While I am always a bit surprised by what my love language isn't at first, when I sit and think about it, things really do make sense.  I can definitely see how my two main love languages play an important role in my life, both romantic and non-romantic alike.  Here's hoping I can use this information to improve my communication skills in future relationships!

I went into more detail over on my YouTube channel and would love your feedback.

Were you surprised to learn the two languages most important to me?  What is your love language?  Have you found that being aware of this information has improved aspects of your life?

Friday, January 22, 2016

30 Days Of Yoga: Half Way Point

I started getting back into yoga in the fall, mostly out of frustration.  I needed mental clarity and needed to move my body but it turned cold and my long walks were just no longer possible.  Enter yoga!

I was doing it 5-6 days a week and then the holidays came.  The weeks before and after Christmas saw little exercise and then eventually a few days after Christmas, the upon me.  

About nine days later, I made this video.  That I then held onto for a few weeks before recently posting on my YouTube channel.  

I was too sick to start doing my 30 days of yoga on the first of January.  However, I did start a few days later.  And yesterday, the 21st of January, was my 15th yoga workout for the year.  15 days of getting my fanny to the mat in just 21 days! 

While that might sound trite to some, that's really a huge step for me.  I'm trying hard to focus on my mental health this year.  I want to be a better human so that I can be a good partner in every other aspect of my life.  I see such a positive difference when I tuck my cuckoo in her clock daily.  I react better, I absorb information better, I am have more positive thoughts, I feel stronger and braver.  

I still don't feel love towards yoga.  Let's keep things honest around and I aren't making googly eyes across the room at each other just yet.  Currently it's more of a grit your teeth and be nice to the sort of sweet but also sort of annoying neighbor across the street sort of relationship.  But I really love all of the benefits I am finding in so many aspects of my life when I practice daily.  So I press on.

Also, I look great in yoga pants!  #priorities

So I am half way to my 30 days of yoga goal.  It won't be done in the first 30 days of January, nor will it be done in a total of 30 days.  But I will come close enough on both to be really proud of myself.  

I'm learning, leaning in, pressing on, and saying yes!  This is, after all, my #yearofyes.  

Tell me about your January so far.  Have you been working on any goals?  Is it going well?  Are you giving yourself space to be imperfect but still accomplish things?  


Thursday, January 21, 2016

Who Needs Sleep? No You're Never Gonna Get It! Insomnia For Days!

Name that tune!  Seriously though...big bonus points if you got the reference.  Immediate best friendship title bestowed upon you!

But back to me.  And sleep.  Or more specifically, the fact that I don't get any.

This has been an issue for me since early childhood.  On and off for my entire life, I've battled sleep issues.  When I was maybe six or seven, I went to a therapist who gave me a tape (for those too young to remember, a tape was what you listened to pre CD) that I played in my little tape recorder each night as I went to sleep. It was this very hippie  dippy monotone voice that was all "breathe in, breathe out, imagine the night sky and the stars...."  The idea was that I would fall asleep a portion of the way into the tape.  Instead, most nights I would reach the end of the tape, get out of bed, hit rewind, and start that puppy all over again.

I will say that my most severe sleep issues come and go.  There are seasons of time when they are worse than others.  And stress seems to play the largest roll in this little game of Who Needs Sleep.  (Answer: Me.  Always me!)

Until very recently, I thought nothing of the matter.  I mean, it's been more than 30 years.  This issue is just so much a part of my being that it doesn't even feel like an issue most of the time.  I'm very unaware of it and just sort of expect that I will feel tired more often than not.

However, my friend The Good Egg has taken on this (in my opinion) non-issue as her major concern in life.  Which is incredibly sweet that she seems to so genuinely care about my health and well-being.  But given my 30 year acceptance over the matter, I'm less than motivated to try new ticks.  I mean, I've made it this far, why change things now?

That said, a few weeks ago Butler Bestie, Belle, sent me a package of essential oils to try (more on that coming soon), including the much raved about Lavender.  So many friends have sung high praises for it's sleep inducing abilities.  And now The Good Egg has me convinced I need to go to the store to pick up some Melatonin.  Suddenly I am more aware than ever before that I should perhaps take this life-long battle more seriously and I'm reading up on various recommendations.  

So here's my question for y'all, do you have any tried and true tips and tricks to getting your mind to quiet enough to get a good night's sleep?  Or have you tried anything in the past that just doesn't at all work that I might want to avoid?  Have you tried Melatonin or lavender oil?  I'm sincerely interested in your insights here.  I realize that I typically write posts explaining what I've already done or how to do something.  But today, I'm simply seeking advice from friends.  Help a girl get a good night's sleep!



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