Sunday, June 18, 2017

The Man Who Has Been My Rock

No family is perfect.  Everyone knows that.  But I had a dad who found a way to be my father and mother and rock for all of my childhood.  He braided my hair and took me shopping for dresses and Cotillion gloves and sewed my Halloween costumes and was at every dance recital and church play.  My dad did his best and then did a little bit more.

My dad was my only consistent source of support and love.  He played all the roles in my life, even when it wasn't what either of us wanted.  

Mother's Day is a dreaded day for me.  But Father's Day...that's an entirely different story.  I'm all too pleased to give my dad a a card and hug and make him something delicious for dinner.

This year I did a casual summer meal of turkey burgers topped with sautéed mushrooms and onions and tomato jam, salad, and rosemary French fries {straight out of the freezer section thankyouverymuch}.  And pie.  Y'all know good and well by know that I gift in pie.  I love in pie.  Heck...I just flat out love pie.  And so does my dad.  So I used the very last bag of blueberries from last year and fresh rhubarb from my garden to make my favorite Bluebarb pie {I'm getting pretty good at doing lattice crusts!}. 

And every Father's Day needs a card.  How cute is this card with the boat shoes?!  Dad hasn't owned a pair in years but it's all he wore when I was little and living in Florida.  And the bumper sticker is already on his car.  He had to take off his beloved Hillary sticker to replace it because he didn't want to have too many stickers {he gave me the play by play story so I am giving it to you're welcome}. Which was hard.  But he loves this new one and it's more timely with the old and on with the new!

All in all we had a relaxing evening that ended with pie and fresh whipped cream.  Hard to go wrong with that!

** If Father's Day is one of pain and sadness for you, for any reason, please know I kept you on my heart and really did think about you.  I know these situations are often overlooked and I want you to know your feelings are real.  Really really real.  And valid.  And even though you might feel isolated, you are not alone.  So I am sending you a giant {but gentle} hug.  And the great news is that tomorrow is just plain ole Monday.  Xoxo

If you celebrated Father's Day, what did you do?  Something out and about or quiet at home?


Sunday, June 11, 2017

Lilly Pulitzer Shirt Expires

This weekend has been fantastic, thanks in large part to the amazing weather we are finally experiencing!  I think summer is actually going to stick around this time and I am jumping for joy.  I just function better when it's sunny and warm and I can get outside.

So I was pretty pumped to finally wear the Lilly Pulitzer sleeveless top that I picked up months ago.  It just screams summer and I love it!

But when I took the tag off, I noticed that there was a second tag.  With a lengthy message.  All about how this shirt will self destruct {paraphrasing} in 10-20 hours.

What the flip is this?  Is this normal?  I own a LOT of Lilly but I admit that I don't own a lot of recent pieces.  But I've never seen a tag telling me the colors on a piece of clothing {the entire flipping reason I bought the piece of clothing, mind you} will fade after a certain number of hours.  What if I wear it inside or at night, will that extend the hours-to-fade situation?  And how faded are we talking?  Will this be a white top by September?

I really feel like they should make this clear PRIOR to purchase.  

Stay tuned kids, because you know full well that I am about to test out this hours-to-fade warning.  

Tell me though if this is on all Lilly pieces these days.  I haven't felt as connected to the brand in the past few years so I only pick up an occasional piece.  Are all Lilly Pulitzer pieces subject to fading away?


One Year And One Month

Dear Sadie,

I have a lot to say today.  I think I've learned as much in the past month as I have in the past year.  But I am stumbling over my words.  Because the 11th of every month will forever be our day.  For better or worse, I just can't make today about me and my life lessons.

Maybe tomorrow.  

As much as I know you would want me to get all the words out and as much as I know you are in Heaven moving your head from side to side as I talk to you...not today.

Today I tell you again that I love you.  Every minute of every day.

More than a dozen times this past month I have done a double take because I thought I saw you here at home.  It's a fraction of a second where I see a shadow or walk into the kitchen or wake up at 4AM to pee and look over where your donut bed, that I know full well is cradling you forever in your resting place, once sat, and think I see you.  

It's just a hair of time.  But it still gets me.  Not in a bad way.  I think at this stage it makes me happy that I still feel you and think I see you.  

I cry a lot less {though am very literally sobbing and having to take off my glasses as I type there's that} these days.  I bring you up as often as I can.  Little memories have made me giggle more and more lately.  And not a day has gone by without me thinking of you.  

I don't know if I will ever get to be a momma.  Time's about run out for that dream.  But you and I both know that you made me a mom.  

You have my heart forever, baby bunny.  

XO Momma

Friday, June 9, 2017

Twice A Year Limbo and I Hate All Of My Clothes

Because I live in the North Pole, I have to do something as an adult that I never had to do as a child growing up in South Florida.  I have to swap out my winter and summer clothing.

Now if you have never lived north of the states of Florida or Texas or some other hot location, this might be a foreign concept to you.  But for most of us, it's just what you do ever spring and fall.  You take all of the clothing you've been wearing for months and rearrange it somehow.  You either move it to storage bins or move it to the back of your closet or under the bed get it.  You shift your stuff.

I'm only just now getting around to this task.  And by getting around to it, let me be really nekkid and explain to you how this works for me.

For the months of April and May, when we have a few hot days and then lots of cool, rainy days and then one super hot day and then then six days that require a puffy vest, I will pull summer clothing out of their storage tubs.  So by the time June rolls around, I have a stack or three of random warm weather clothing items that gather in the chair.  You know the chair.  It's that one place in your bedroom where all the things pile up.  A chair or dresser or table or sofa or corner spot...we all have one.  Or we better all have one.  We definitely cannot be friends if you don't have a spot somewhere in your life that collects all the things that are seemingly homeless.  

Anyway...June rolls around and I finally make time to swap out my clothing.  But then I play a few games.  Not fun games.  But  

The first is called Will I Need To Wear This During The Next Four Months?  To play it, you create a whole new pile of clothing that you might or might not need between now and the next clothing swap. Cardigans.  I could wear them.  But will I have a need to wear all 20 that I own?  Doubtful.  I might might need one.  Maybe two.  But not 20.  So which four will I keep out {you know I wasn't going to be anything close to practical and just reserve two...right}?  How about long sleeved polo shirts and jeans?  I will definitely wear jeans over the summer.  But will I wear the jeans that I never even wore this past winter?  No...definitely no.  But will I keep them out anyway?  Absolutely.  Even the ones that you haven't worn in two years?  That you don't really like but are nice so you've hung onto them just in case because you never know when some nice in the store but ugly on you denim shortage might pop up in the world?  Yup...those stay, too.

The second game is called If I Lose 10 Pounds.  To play it, I try on all the things that fit me last year and depressingly do not fit me this year.  I can get into them but I would never wear them in public.  Because getting into something and fitting well into something are two different things.  And then I ask myself, if I just lose 10 lbs, will I fit in these shorts?  And the bonus round happens with, will I actually lose 10 lbs or if I lose 10 lbs, will I want to wear these shorts.  

I usually end up near tears and eating ice cream by the end of this particular game.  Because then on top of the battle to fit into clothing, I will inevitably declare that I hate all of my clothing.  All of it.  New pieces and favorite old Lilly pieces and white t-shirts and everything in between.  I will suddenly hate it all.

I know I regularly say that adulting is hard, but I manage to take it to the next level with break downs inside my own closet.  

I have been in a big purge mood lately.  But realizing so many things that fit me last summer do not fit me this summer, despite exercising more in the past year than I have in my entire life and trying lately to really be so conscious of my calorie intake has taken a toll on my mood.  

By the end of the weekend, the swap will be done.  All the boots and sweaters will be tucked away.  All the items that will never fit or that I will never again wear that I can bring myself to part with, will be dropped off at the donation site.  Come hell or high water, the chair will be empty by Sunday night.  

Hold me to it.  

I want to start next week fresh.  All the summer clothes that fit me will be at my fingertips.  Happy, bright summer colors for days!  And my body...well I'm working on that too.  I probably need to de clutter the pile in my mind before I can make any real progress though.

One project a time.  And this weekend, the clothing swap WILL BE COMPLETED.  

Happy Friday, friends!


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