Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Break Up




Dear J.CREW,


We're breaking up. It's been coming for a long long time. I feel like we've been on a break and it is just time to end our relationship altogether. You quit making clothes of quality. You quit making clothes in classic styles. And you quit making clothes that fit women larger than a B cup. Calling something "tissue" does not make it special. It means that it is half the product. See through. Impossible to wear with my "blessed" chest. What is this shirt? Tissue fabric with heavy sequins?






Sequined bloomers. Because that's a practical item. If I saw someone wearing these I would assume they raided a six year old's dress up trunk.





This Mongolian beast is $800. Eight hundred. US, not Monopoly, dollars.






Of course the Mongolian is a bargain compared to this hot mess of a feather vest that retails for $1200. It's ugly and expensive. Now that's a great combo!





I don't even know what this is. Sort of looks like fungus or bark or something growing out of her back.





I believe I once owned these. In the 80's. Long underwear that I wore under my ski pants.





But these pants take the cake. They give you diaper butt. And who isn't just dying for diaper butt?! The shoes are...um...special too.





I saved the best for last. Preppy meets 80's hip hop.




Do you now see, J.CREW, why we simply must break up? It's been a steady relationship for the majority of my life. But I've hung on for far too long out of loyalty. Because of our history. I thought you were just going through a phase. That you would regain your sanity and just be normal again. It turns out you are not the company I fell in love with. You've changed. I probably have too. In that I refuse to pay a lot for crappy quality just because of a brand name.



I think we are parting on OK terms. I might visit once in a blue moon. I actually still have a gift card somewhere so I will probably definitely visit when I locate it. And you are welcome to continue sending me mail now and then. But our intimate and long term love affair has truly ended. It's clear to me that you are settled in this new trendy phase and well, I'm just not that kind of girl.



All the best,

KK

(all photos are straight off the JCREW website)




39 comments:

Preppy Girl Meets World said...

I love this post. So so much.

Cari said...

I broke up with them too :(

I agree 100% with your reasons for breaking up....

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Hysterical and so true! I recycled the catalog the day it arrived. Generally I keep it around for months, but this one was just trash.

Trish said...

I know, sweetie, I know.....I am THISCLOSE to formally breaking up with J.Crew as well....there a few things that have caught my eye lately, but I agree, it's time to move on! :) Hugs to you friend! xoxoox

Buford Betty said...

So funny. I still love their dresses b/c they're a perfect fit on me (not that I've bought one in FOREVER other than a BM dress). But I can definitely see your beef - haha! I guess I WON'T be getting you that fur vest number for Christmas... hmmm... back to the drawing board.

An Inquiring Mind said...

I can't agree with you more. Awful clothes, bad quality, big prices. Dislike!

S. said...

A.men. I could not have said it better myself.

I made a post about brooks brothers being the replacement j.crew last week... you should check out their new stuff. They have an entire catalog marketing to the young and classic crowd-- it's very much picking up the slack in the market caused by j.crew losing its mind, IMO...

MER said...

Thank you for the much needed laugh. And I couldn't agree more, after my last two purchases on Final Sale, and maybe a new bathing suit here or there, I have no interest in JCrew.

Susan said...

I'm with you 100%. I remember when I first started getting into JCrew. I think it wsa in the mid 1980s, possibly even the early
1990s. They started going for the hippie, bohomeian look and that's where they lost me. Now it's the "I Can't Figure Out Which Era I want To Draw Off Of" look. A combination of them all.I strongly agree on the whole "tissue" tee thing. Where do they get off doing something so underhanded and stupid, but charging more? I think you should make a copy of this post and send it to them, along with all the comments.

Amy said...

Long-time lurker coming out to shout "hell yeah"! How has the quality diminished so significantly while the prices have tripled (at least) and people are eating it up? Thanks for calling them out with this great post!

Barb said...

i just laughed, out loud, while reading this at my desk at work... the "trendy" stuff lately is really mind- boggling, not to mention i could never picture you wearing any of this stuff!

KatiePerk said...

AHhhhhhh. I completely agree.

South Carolina Belle said...

That post made me LOL. Seriously. Diaper Butt. So funny, yet dead on! I completely agree!!

JMW said...

I'm with you on the break-up. At first, I was excited when Jenna Lyons was brought to the helm, but she's taken it in a direction that I'm not on board with, so I've parted ways as well.

Miss Southern Prep said...

I totally agree! I absolutely loved J. Crew, but they've been such a disappointment lately! I'll probably only buy their cardigans now.

Pink, Green, and Southern said...

We broke up about 6 months ago and I had a brief lapse in judgment and took J. crew back about a month ago, but it's over for awhile again. It may just be me, but it's looking like the good designers from J. Crew jumped over to Land's End Canvas and took their affordable prices with them.

Jeannie said...

I couldn't agree more!!!!

Seersucker Scrapper said...

I couldn't agree more! The only thing I have purchased in a while is their perfect tees.

I'm still hoping they come to their senses. We shall see!

Twist of Lime said...

Really, this is hysterical! You are so funny, and so true! Wendy

Jennifer Hancock said...

Your comments were classic!! I dont like the styles nor the fabric of most of the "brand " name clothing being sold today...

BALLET NEWS said...

Totally with you there !!!

Tanya-Yanata said...

Last for the best!!!!!! made me laugh-thank you.

Ruth said...

Totally there with you! What happened to the classic quaility pieces.

AEOT said...

Uggg.....who wants to look like a tree that the mushroom is growing on???? And the prices are utterly rediculous. My biggest problem with the last catalog?? The sequin harem pants. Seriously, who in their right mind would wear them and WHERE on God's green earth would you wear them? Last year I was preggo and didn't buy anything, and I don't see much I love this year. I'm with you on the breakup. Preppy bloggers....out!

Torch Lake Prep said...

Thank you for the humor and I too have a love-hate relationship w/JC and after the fall catalog, we too will part. Looking @ Talbot's again and Ann Taylor

Jo said...

You are too much!

I'm joining your club as well. Seriously, who is going to but this stuff at these prices?!

Jo

Bumby Scott said...

Great post.... Check out Lands' End

Pink Maple said...

I guess I'm the odd girl out here, I still love J Crew. I only really shop in the store and not online or through the catalog and the store doesn't have any of the weird furry and/or sequined expensive pieces.

thepreppyprincess said...

Oh, this simply made my day, probably because I couldn't agree more Miss Crocodile. What a shame.

Smiles at you!
tp

CT Cupcake said...

I agree with you 100%. Sequined shorts? really?! JCrew used to be my go to for work clothes and now, unless I want to buy a pencil skirt suit, which I don't b/c they don't fit my slim but curvy lower half, their skirts are too short for work.
Some trendy items are fine but enough already!

sassypinkmonogram said...

I love this post. I had an issue with a pair of J-Crew jeans a couple years ago. There was no warning label on them saying they might rub off on things but boy oh boy! They dyed my brand new leather car seats blue! I wrote a letter to J-Crew and actually got a response from there director of Customer Service! Try it!

KK said...

I agree!!!

Sourkraut said...

I feel the exact same way! Thank you for voicing what a lot of us must be feeling. Not that J Crew'll notice or care that they've lost us. :(

adozeneggs said...

I'll stick with their basics, like pique polos, kakis, jeans and corduroys, but I agree with you on all that other stuff.
Who wears it anyway??

Molly said...

I just love your letter posts, you are always so dead on!

Miss M! said...

Diaper butt! I love it!

Kate said...

YIKES! I don't know what they were thinking with these items!

MCW said...

Just found you through our favorite Mermaid...
I 100% agree with you. I have always been in love with J.Crew and my very trendy friends were not. Well, the 3 of us walked into J.Crew last weekend and they both said to me "Ummm...we love this stuff. You must not anymore." So true...They want the sequnied shorts. haha
Although, I did get a cute black dress and navy blazer recently...

Melissa said...

Ha ha! This is too funny. Try the Jcrew outlet if you can, they have most of the classics and it is cheaper. I do not like the real Jcrew anymore, but I still love the outlet.

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