Saturday, May 19, 2012

Re-Focus On Me

I have had a lot going on lately.  And while this has not been my worst personal season, it most certainly has been the worst season I have experienced in many, many years.  And the worst season that is due almost to entirely non-family sources.  I have not been in a good place.

Some parts I cannot talk about.  Some parts I will not talk about.  And some parts I will do my best to find the words to talk about next week. 

However, this post is not about that.  Because I am crazy, fiercely determined to find both the lessons and joy in all of this.  I am starting to realize that I am at the center of my own problems.  And after yesterday, I realize that a big part of it has to do with my proverbial line.  We all have one, we all want one, but what do we do with one?  (Super mega bonus points if you get that reference.)

I have let a lot of things cross my line.  I've known that situations are out of the comfort zone of what I consider to be inside of and outside of my line.  And I've ignored my own good judgement as to not rock proverbial boats.  But it's all backfiring on me. 

So...I have a plan.  Or a plan for a plan really.  I WILL work out said finalized but flexible to change plan this weekend.  And report back on some of it next week. 

Know this though....

My plan is to get back to me just being me.  That includes everything from physical to emotional to spiritual to hair color and more.  Yes...I think hair color is as important as my emotional well-being.  Don't judge.  Just support me.  Or not.  It's a blog.  I honestly do not have many expectations at this point.  But I am trimming the proverbial fat (How many times can I over-use a word today?) in my life.  Tip to tail. 

Because quite frankly, I am doing a crappy job of pleasing anyone in my life right now.  So I am going to fix things at the core before I can in good faith branch out to anyone else.  And I am totally going to have fun along the way.  I need to laugh a heck of a lot more in the next three months to make up for the tears of the last three months.  I'm going to be busy.  But I am going to get my life back on track.  And my head and heart back in tact.

My cup is empty.  Not a drop left.  I am normally the girl who's cup runneth over.  I'm tapped out.  It's time to fill it up again (Anyone else always sing it like an Indigo Girl?  No?  Just me?  Oh well.).  It's time to set and accomplish new (and old) goals.

This, my sweet peaches, is going to be the summer of ME

So tell anyone else anxious to re-focus and set some goals this summer?


Unknown said...

Take care of yourself and the rest will take care of itself. Here's to YOUR summer!!

Anonymous said...

I completely understand.

I recently went back to my natural hair color and it's natural wave and you would think that I purposely shaved my head. Everyone says "I liked it better.." etc. Well, it's MY hair, MY life, MY change. It's liberating to say, I am me and I need to focus on what I want.

Kudos to you!


Katiellirb said...

I love the Summer of KK! Getting back to you is the core of all happiness! Can't wait to follow along with your progess :)

BroncoMom said...

Yes indeed I am ready to think about ME for a change!
I'm going to take it slow and easy and re-learn how to focus on me. Scary and thrilling all at the same time.

Wendy said...

Here's to the summer of you! Put yourself first and all will work out....I think there are many of us who need/want to focus on ourselves. I know I have big plans for the summer.

Dr. Blondie said...

Yay for beautiful, wonderful YOU! XOXO


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