Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Learning Channel

They call themselves The Learning Channel.  So I'd like to share a few things I have learned from TLC...

* If you have a lot of kids, especially during a single hospital visit, you will be given a TV Reality show.




* After a few years, said multi-kid reality show will have nothing to do with reality and everything to do with fancy vacations.




* Parents from said multi-kid reality shows will make bank but will be crucified by society as America's worst parents. A small price to pay I guess.

* Parents from said multi-kid (or any on any channel for that matter) reality show will constantly repeat, "you have no right to judge me." But then proceed to film a reality show.




* If you don't have a lot of kids but instead have a lot of wives, you will also be given a TV show. Equal opportunity.

* America dresses schlumpy and slutty.

* And capri pants are the death of style.

* But you can fix that problem with a $5000 Visa gift card.

* You should go by yourself to find a wedding dress. Friends and family become evil when you walk into a fancy wedding dress store.

* Expect gasps if you bring a male with you shopping for a wedding dress.

* New Jersey is the new black. If you have a thick Jersey accent, are super loud, and make up your own words, you will be given a show or three.




* C very possibly stands for cupcake.

* Or cupcake competition.

* Or creepy cupcake sisters who act like toddlers and say mommyyyy a lot.

* You can turn anything into a reality show. Clipping coupons, cutting hair, spoon-feeding babies, cleaning a house, baking cupcakes, selling antiques or eating toilet paper to name a few.

* Kiddie beauty pageants are really, really horrific.

* The parents of said beauty pageant contestants will look nothing like their bratty toddler daughters.





And the number one thing that TLC has taught me is....

* I will get sucked in and watch crap that I don't even like.  I might not watch a second show but the chances are high I will watch the first episode.


all photos from TLC

12 comments:

Love Being a Nonny said...

Funny! They suck me in too! I'll have to say though, The Duggar family is the real deal. They don't depend on anyone to support them and are true through and through!

There is a FAT show starting next week...I'll be watching that too I guess. sigh

Great post!:)

Erica said...

You made me laugh out loud! I generally stay away from those shows, but I actually do like "The Little Couple." They seem kind of genuine and actually hold down jobs, outside of being filmed.

MCW said...

LOL. Cracking up over the kids in pageants who look nothing like their parents!
I used to live around the corner from Carlos's bakery. There was never ANYONE in it and I would walk buy and think, "Those are ugly cakes!"

JMW said...

Okay, I was laughing out loud at this! How true! I really think TLC is the Side Show channel with what they feature on there. Like you, I may stop while surfing because one can't help but watch a train wreck, but then move on after the initial shock wears off. :)

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

For the record, I actually like watching the Duggars and The Little Couple. And will most certainly watch Fergie when she has her show on OWN.

Preppy Girl Meets World said...

BEST.POST.EVER!!!!


Thank you for making me laugh today.

Whitney and the Preppy Puppy said...

This is the funniest thing I've read all week. Thank you!

mHe said...

Ok, this made me laugh out loud. Very astute observations!

And for the record, I am guilty of watching several TLC shows. I get sucked in like the rest of you!

Janine said...

Too funny!!!

ps - I wanted to let you know that I am passing on the "Stylish Blogger Award" to you today. You have a way of saying it like it is my bloggy friend and that is so very refreshing! Have a special day. See my blog for your shout out :)

Just Add Walter said...

bahaha... am the same way... totally sucked into all of that crap-TV.

Lauren (Healthy Delicious) said...

My sides hurt from laughing so hard. Its all so true!

Ruth said...

LOL! yes they have gotten away from the original purpose of the channel.
I don't mind the Duggars but some of the rest are to much for me like Toddlers & Tiaras.

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