Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Dear Someone,

Dear Television Producers everywhere,

Y'all are lazy.  Lazy, lazy, lazy!  No one writes shows any more.  Or I guess there are writers, but they are given another title of sorts as they write for "reality" shows.  I just saw a commercial that the Kardashian/Jenner clan is going casket shopping in the next episode.  How boring do you have to be that death shopping is all you can come up with for them?  Or the new show where you toss D-list (at best) celebrities into some sort of faux military but totally "reality" situation?  And one of the Jonas brothers is getting a show to highlight his practically teen marriage.  Actually, that might not be true.  I don't know anything about them so maybe he's really like 30.  Either way, I won't watch.

Get off your expensive chairs and write something!

Dear NBC,

I'm tired.  Please put volleyball at the end of the night.  Like from 10-12.  That way I don't have to watch and can actually go to bed before midnight.


Dear Nick Delpopolo,

I'm sorry, you ate pot by accident?  That is just not possible.  You are were a US Judo Olympian.  You watch every calorie that enters your body.  And you CHOSE to consume illegal substances.  Own that choice, you fool.  And own that you wasted time and money and the good name of our good country. 

What an embarrassment,

Dear Ryan Lochte,

I like you less and less.  Oh sure, you're very pretty.  But you're also so dang full of yourself.  And according to your momma, sort of a man whore too. 

Beauty fades,

Dear Sam Mikulak,

You are a class act.  You are what every athlete should aspire to be.  You came in a disappointing 5th in the men's individual vault competition yesterday.  But when Yang Hak Seon of Korea performed that most amazing final vault to win gold, you were sincerely overjoyed for him.  You ran right up to hug him and tell him with enthusiasm that he was amazing.  You took my breath away, Sam!  You weren't grumpy and frowny and feeling sorry for yourself, even though you worked for a lifetime to try to win his gold medal.  Instead you were just the best example the world has ever seen of a good sportsman.  You were truly joyful for what Yang had just accomplished. 

I hope your gracefulness and positive attitude rub off on some of your Olympic counterparts,

Dear Pinterest,

Olympic indoor volleyball has been good for our relationship.  It's been a pin-tastic few days, my favorite time sucker.  The other day I described you as my blog filing cabinet.  You're welcome to use that as your new motto but do be sure to credit me, your ever loyal companion.

Until we pin again,

Dear Katie Holmes,

Please, please, please do an in-depth interview with Oprah.

Curiosity is killing me,

Dear Summer,

Don't go!  I like fall just fine but winter is such a bitch!  And you know she just storms her fat white booty into town, uninvited and long-term, after you leave me.  Plus, I have so much more to do in life after your all too brief visit ends.  So please stay.  Forever!

Sunshine, Diet crack Coke and procrastination rock my pink socks,


REBrown said...

Agreed on the volleyball - I'm a little tired of beach volleyball.

Jo said...

Thanks for the giggle ... you read my mind. I watch very little for these very reasons.


3 Peanuts said...

You made me laugh...very clever. Very sad about the Judo guy . I am so disappointed. My HArry is a Junior Olympian in Judo so he looks up to those guys.

I agree about that Ryan Lochte too. Sick of him. I like that Nathan Adrian who won gold in the 100 meter freestyle. He is cute and seemed humble too.

BroncoMom said...

Amazing how you have summed up my thoughts so well with this post. Thanks!

Marla said...

On TV producers : amen!

Olympians who deserve kudos, add Kirani James from Grenada to your list!

Ruth said...

Amen on the tv producers.

I agree about Ryan and Sam. It was true sportsmanship what Sam did. And add the 37 year male gymnast from Bulgaria (I think) he was excited the whole ring competition even when he found out he didn't get a medal.

Anonymous said...

These are brilliant, I love them all! Especially the one about Sam, and the one about Ryan Lochte. And summer ending? Cannot. Happen. Unprepared!

Sending you a smile,

Lori said...

Geesh, it sounds like I'm missing out on some good stuff....should turn my tv on more. lol
Enjoy the weekend!


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