Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Heartbreak Update And Learning To Let Go Of Perfect

Y'all are truly so wonderful!  I cannot express how grateful how much it means that days later, I am still getting comments and emails and tweets.  Honestly, I have no words.  That has really lifted my soul!

I wish I could explain what happened.  But I cannot.  For a variety of privacy reasons. 

I know that doesn't feel fair.  To put it out there and not complete the story.  But it's just how it has to be this time.  I share a lot on here.  But beyond my emotions, I am just not able to share more this time.

I also wish I could tell you that things have improved.  They have not.  I got choked up some this past weekend but it wasn't until Monday that I had an actual sobbing break-down.  I needed it. 

But in the end, things will find their way back to being better.  Wrongs will be made right.  Frowns will become smiles.  Eventually.

This is my week from H E double hockey sticks.  And that was before my world came crashing down around me.  Before! 

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will NOT accomplish all I need to get done by Friday.  There is no possible way for it to happen.  And I might be doing laundry as I am walking out the door on Sunday.  Heck I might just bring dirty laundry with me to do on vaca at the rate I am going.

But by Sunday night, I will be surrounded by the people I love the most. 

My problems won't go away.  They will likely follow me via text and email on my vacation.  I'm OK with that.  I think I can deal with things better while wearing flip flops anyway. 

So here's to my realization that I can't do it all while managing an unexplainable personal crisis and not being able to sleep.  For me, that's sort of a big realization.  Growth?  Age?  Who knows.  But it won't all get done and perhaps it's my lack of sleep but I honestly am very much at peace with it.  For the next few days I am going to work my fanny off and leave the rest up to God.  He's better at managing these sorts of things anyway.

11 comments:

Mrs. Kindergarten...aka...Madame Spoiled said...

Lettin' go of PeRfEcT is one hard lesson to learn. I think all troubles can be solved in a much better way with flip flops, cocktails and the mighty SUN! I hope your get~away is ALL that you need and deserve!

Love and Hugs,
Mrs. Kindergarten...aka...Madame Spoiled

Elizabeth said...

I will say some extra prayers for you!

garden state prep said...

Oh I wish I could give you a hug right now! Hopefully you can enjoy some of your vacation time - I'll be thinking about you!

Dr. Blondie said...

Hang in there, friend. And enjoy your vacation. It sounds like it's coming at a perfect time.

BroncoMom said...

Driving by a small church on my way to the grocery store I saw this sign that read "There was a plan long before there was a problem." Even though that sign was posted a few years ago, it still puts things into perspective for me when things go whack-a-doodle. Take care PPC!

CT Cupcake said...

hugs and hang in there! It sounds like the vacation is coming at a much needed time. Know that you are not alone in your struggles either!

Whitney and the Preppy Puppies said...

I'm thinking of you and sending hugs your way.

Suburban Princess said...

I hope it's not nearly as awful as I am sure we are all imagining.

thepreppyprincess said...

More than anything I am glad you are going to get out of town and be on vacation, a chance for some restorative time away. I wish I could be a sponge and soak up some of the hurt. :(

Ruth said...

Hugs! I hope things will start looking up for you.

Mrs. Lynch said...

<3 <----that's supposed to be a heart

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