Dear Washington Post,
Big night in America, I know. I'm a fan of watching election polls too. But do you know what is super annoying? Having you email me EVERY SINGLE TIME a new poll comes in. How about you send me an email listing results instead of a separate email for each bloody individual result? You're clogging up my inbox! I am watching CNN and NBC so like everyone else in America, I am already reading the results. There aren't even any big surprises tonight so far. No need for 600 emails in one night. OK?
Dear News Media,
Quit referring to some Senate seats as "very prestigious." I'm pretty sure our elected officials in what I assume you must deem "very ordinary and not at all prestigious" Senate seats feel they are just as important. Unless one of them sits in a pink sparkle (ala Elle Woods) chair, they are all equal.
Dear North Dakota,
Why do you have someone running unopposed? And how is it possible he didn't win 100% of the vote? Does none of that strike you as really odd?
Sometimes more really is just more. You have too many people on there tonight. Next time let me pick. I can edit boring out like nobody's business.
Dear Orville Redenbacher and Swiss Miss with mini marshmallows,
Once again, y'all have completed my poll watching evening. Mmmmm!