This is a bit delayed but let's gossip about our favorite (or not) "housewives." First let's chatter about the OC reunion show. E-gads! Vicky is just out of control! She never really owned up to how nasty and mean she was and just continued to be mean and nasty. To think I used to like her! And Tamara....its seemed as if she and Vicky were rather proud of how terribly they behaved. Lady, you have impressionable young children and you are proud of your gross behavior? Ew!

I don't know what to think about Gretchen. She is still my favorite (well besides Laurie). I hope she wasn't cheating on her fiance. I find it hard to believe that her family would be OK with her cheating. Don't get me wrong- she is a big flirt. But I don't think she actually cheated. I never believe the worst in people though so I am probably the wrong person to ask. It is curious though that this random guy would stalk/hit on her and now she is letting him live with her (as a roomie I hope?). Hmmm...

Lynn- I did feel bad for her. Everyone minus Gretchen was mean to her. How tacky. I mean, we all chat but to say caddy things to someone's face and then not take ownership over it (ahem, Vicky), is unbelievable. I was going to associate it with toddler behavior but honestly, their behavior is unacceptable at any age! Though, lady needs to wake up regarding her parenting style. Those daughters need a swift kick in the booty. She said that all kids drink and smoke. No, they don't.

Jeanna- I know she is everyone's favorite. But I have never really loved her. And this season it is clear why. She is a snake. She is your best friend one minute and spreads gossip about you the next. But pretends she is uninvolved. Really she is a pot stirrer! She causes a fire and then stands to the side claiming to not know what is going on. Vicky and Tamara are mean and nasty but at least they own it.

Laurie- I love you. You're my very favorite wife. But please for the love of the hair gods, get a new do. Hair that long on a woman over the age of 25 is just tacky. And again, love and kisses. But speaking of kisses, any chance you might think of scaling back on your botox schedule? You're lips look like they might float off your face.

Now to my NY Apples! Ah, my favorite of all three groups! Bethany still has the best one-liners! Girl cracks me up. Jill...I just love her. She's bold and loud and sticks her foot in her mouth but she is so funny.

Ramona. It looks like she goes off on Alex and Simon next week. Can. Not. Wait! For as strange as I think Ramona can act, I totally agree that Alex and Simon make my skin crawl. Ugh...and if they are going to complain about everything, why would Alex and Simon even go to the Hamptons? I'm sure the Hamptons would survive if Mr. and Mrs. Skin Crawl just stayed at home speaking French to their children (who incidentally do not speak French).

So far I really do not like new girl Kelly. I don't know why exactly but she just seems a bit full of herself. More than the others even. And that's hard to do when you consider Luann was insulted that the pizza people didn't recognize her Countess voice. As Bethany frequently says, "get over yourself!" How (again, love the Bethany one liners!) Dis-Countess was she at "her" Heart Association dinner? Tacky, tacky, tacky! Actually she sort of reminded me of Vicky when she was upset that her mother didn't fawn over her. Puh-leeze! Luann, this is the USA. We don't give a hoot that your hubby (who is never ever in town- anyone else notice that?) is a "French Aristo."

I have a feeling this is going to be a fabulous season! So I raise my (pretend) green apple martini to my favorite, neurotic NYC housewives. Cheers!