Monday, December 14, 2009

Monster Monday

Monster Monday posts will return after the first of the year. I'm going to change things up a bit though. I spent my entire life not wanting people to feel sorry for me and I fear that my posts thus far have created just that. I also have some big goals next year. My 32nd year of life. I really want to find forgiveness in my heart for my mother and Satan. Not for them. I have no intention of ever seeing them again. But for myself. I see people talking about how they just had to forgive those who did horrible things to them to find peace in life. Its something I have been searching for now for at least a decade. And how much do I wish it was like a holiday cookie recipe. Add four eggs to the flour, sprinkle in this and that and cook for 25 minutes. Out comes forgiveness. But it's not that simple. Not that I know of anyway. So 2010 will hopefully be about many things for me and at the very top of that list will be to find my way to forgiving. I have no illusions that it will be simple. Or even possible to do in just one year. But perhaps I might even accomplish it by January 02. I don't know. But I will do my very best to try. And drag y'all along with me as I figure out just how to truly forgive when it is impossible to ever forget.

5 comments:

Susan said...

PPC: Let me tell you something and I mean this from the heart.....Hanging on to whatever it is you're hanging onto (the anger, hurt, bitterness and revenge) is like you drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. You are the only one it will effect (affect?) I can never get that one right. You don't ever have to see them again, but you need to forgive so that you can be happy and move on. Easy for me to say, but alas....I too had the exact same problem and it has taken awhile to get to the place I'm at now. You email me sometime and lets talk (email or phone) fivegreatkiddos@yahoo.com I hope I can help.

KK said...

I do hope you find that peace. It is so for you and not them!

tintarosa said...

I hope you can accomplish your goal for 2010. I've found your posts on Monster Mondays heartbreaking. Please know that I'm pulling for you.

Beth Dunn said...

I too, have been learning how to do just that. Forgive out of selfishness-so I can be happy. It's hard but time helps. Best of luck and here's to an amazing 2010! xoxo

sC

Piper Jacquelyn said...

I think that is a pretty fabulously awesome goal to have for your new year. If anything, it totally lets you be at peace & happy with yourself, which is SUPER important - you deserve nothing less, of course!!

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