Beep Beep

If we can send a man (or woman) to the moon, combine broccoli and asparagus and make it quite tasty, and witness Brittney Spears come back from brink of doom and gloom, then why can't they make my car horn have a variety of beeps. What am I talking about? I mean, sometimes a regular beep beep, toot toot is insufficient. Sometimes I need something that specifically states the thing I am trying to tell the other car. Here are a few I would use frequently....

*Beep Beep. That is not a parking space. It's a road. And you are blocking it. Move your stinkin' car!

*Toot Toot. I don't care if your wife/daughter/friend/boyfriend/neighbor is in Walmart/Grocery Store/Marshalls/Target. You cannot just sit in your car in front the store. You are blocking car traffic. And pedestrian traffic. And you are really ticking me off. Move your stinkin' car!

*Beep Beep. I'm not trying to scare you by waving my arms and shaking my hands. That's my car to car sign language for "you forgot to turn on your headlights." You're welcome. It happens to all of us once in a while.

*Toot Toot. Please turn your music down. It cannot be healthy to listen to it that loudly. I mean, your windows are up, my windows are up and I have my radio on. I can still clearly hear your music though. Too loud sugar!

*Beep Beep. Do you see that red light? Yeah, red means stop buddy!

*Toot Toot. Do you see that green light? It's my turn to go, not yours!

*Beep Beep. Do you see how the street is flanked by a sidewalk on either side? That's where you and your children and your dog and your baby stroller should be standing/walking/hanging out. Do you see the road? Look down, yes that road, where you are standing/walking/hanging out. Do you see my car and the other cars? The big hunks of metal with four wheels? Roads are for cars. I know, tricky. Now you know.

*Toot Toot. Just because you left your car running with your emergency lights blinking does not make it legal to park in the middle of the street and in front of a fire hydrant while your run in to shop/visit with friends/pick up food/or anything else.

*Beep Beep. Up here it's legal to turn left on red if the street is one way. So um, please turn. No one is coming and I have things to do today.

*Toot Toot. You are so rude to leave your shopping buggy in the middle of the parking space/lot!! Rude, rude, rude!! Be a peach and just return your buggy to the cart station like the rest of us.

Just to name a few.... I am actually not a road rage kind of person. When I get huffy it usually sounds like "oooh you mean blue car!" But the above list are things I run across frequently. My regular honk just doesn't seem to get my point across sufficiently. I'd like some pre-recorded honks please! I'm pretty sure the world would be a happier place.