Thursday, August 21, 2008

Freaking Out

I am about in tears. I have no idea how to fix this problem and I am just beside myself. Many many months ago I wrote a post. It was about that wedding I attended at a camp in North Carolina in the Spring. I was my normal sassy self in the post. Y'all gave me great advice and then I sort of forgot about it. OK, so I hinted at this next story but I never got around to writing it down. This one post keeps coming back to haunt me. Let me now finally give you the full story in hopes that you can either help me or just be aware for your own sanity....

So I went to the wedding and had a ball. It was a surprisingly fabulous weekend. Sunday morning I went down to the mess hall to eat breakfast early before my flight home. I'm in line for eggs when an older gentleman shouts across the room, "Are you the pink crocodile?" I froze. What the..? Seriously only a handful of my friends know about my blog. Mostly because they found it on their own accord and put two and two together. This was a complete stranger. To this day I have no idea who he is. I looked up from my plate and sort of muttered a confused and bashful "yes" to his question. Now there are at least two dozen people staring at me with questioning looks on their faces. And who could blame them as it was a very bizarre question to ask of a stranger. It must have been incredibly visible that I was beyond confused and shocked (as the color was no doubt draining right out of my head, I'm sure) so he said that he googled the attire for the wedding (it was a very odd and specific group of words) and my blog was the only thing that came up. I sort of mumbled something like "Oh sorry I wasn't more helpful" and all but ran to sit down and hide my head in shame. Not only was I called out but it was in front of dozens of strangers. More than that, I could not remember what I wrote and was incredibly worried that I might have said something less than nice. Something perhaps true and funny but not something I would ever want my dear friend, the bride, to read. So of course I had to then fess up to a few of my girlfriends that I had a blog and tell them the address. Which is all well and good but I was seriously soooo worried that I had totally done something that might hurt my friend.

The moment I got home I re-read the post, confirmed my worst fears and immediately deleted it. I sort of felt better. Well, not really. Ask Bestie, I seriously obsessed over this for a good week or two. Paranoia totally set it. I don't think the post was bad. But it still was something that lead me to feel very guilty for being so sassy in regards to this wedding.

According to sitemeter though, people are still googling this particular set of words and that dumb post is coming up. But I deleted it? I never thought to google it again after I deleted it. Until just now when I looked at sitemeter for the first time in a month or two. I don't understand. Is it impossible for me to delete a blog post? I understand that once something is on the internet it is there forever. But like it is still on my blog. If you go to the month or the topic, it's still there. Even though I deleted it. It still shows on my blog. How do I fix this?

***UPDATE****
OK, with tears in my eyes I think I figured it out. You have to actually go to the post and deleted it. Like as if you are changing a word, but I just highlighted the damn thing and hit delete. I am beyond mortified. It wasn't even a bad post. I just can't stand the thought though that I might have said something that could hurt someone I love. I am seriously soooo upset about my goof. It is 100% my fault for not being more careful.

Let this be a lesson to you (well if you are like me and didn't realize that clicking "delete" on the edit posts page would not really delete the post). I know many of us like to delete a post every now and then for whatever reason. Perhaps there is another (and better!) way of getting rid of an old post....if you know the answer, please please share!

I still feel terrible. I am still wiping away the tears as I type this. I feel like a jerk. I am usually so careful. Ugh this is such a crappy fine line to walk....the line between secretly venting and having friends secretly read your venting.

I'm not even going to re-read this rambling post. Because I am in a rambling, feeling like a horrible person who says mean things mood. Oy vey!

22 comments:

adozeneggs said...

Well, I can see why you're upset. I've often been envious that you can post about such things. I don't ever write things that I wouldn't want someone to read. My blog is attached to my business and everyone I know is aware of it, so I always have to be careful. You're writing is so cute and funny, I can't imagine that anyone would be offended. All you can do is deal with the bride IF she ever reads the post. You can't obsess if nothing has happened yet.

Belle said...

I can't belive that man called you out in front of so many people. It's also kinda weird it was a man. I remember you posting about the camp wedding. and I don't remember ANYTHING hurtful or rude. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Prep in the country said...

I'm so sorry that happened to you. How did he know you were the author of the blog??? It's kinda creepy right.

Lauren said...

It was an honest mistake. You are a sweet, caring friend and I am sure no ones feelings were hurt.

I am always wondering who might be reading my blog too. I am sure that there are people who have found it and haven't told me.

I hope you have a nice weekend!

Always Organizing said...

Don't be so hard on yourself!!! We all use our blogs to vent and I have gone back and deleted a post because I was worried that my employer would see it (although now I have to google it!). That man was very weird to yell that info and out and I think it was inappropriate of him to do so.

Belle in Bloom said...

Oh, Honey. I'm so sorry. Try, try, try to let this go. We ALL say things, even just sassy things, that we regret. You had no intentions of hurting anyone. Blogs are like journals, and we say what we feel. It's not like you emailed it out for specific people to read. Someone stumbled onto it. Stop beating yourself up. You sound like such a sweetie, I'm sure this will all blow over. Try and have a nice weekend.
~Belle

A.D. said...

That is so weird that he knew who you were. Also, I was just getting ready to write a post warning people that when they post things and delete them, they are still findable. I know on google reader even when something is deleted, I can still read their post on my reader. I'll have to check and see if erasing the post still erases it on reader too.
I'm sure someone would have said something by now if feelings were hurt. There is not much you can do about it now so I would just chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. We've all had the "foot in the mouth" thing happen so hopefully, anyone that did see it will understand. Hope you have a better weekend!

M.A. said...

That is so frustrating. I totally understand what you mean. I don't ever write anything bad about anyone I know personally, but I am sure I have made comments that would somehow offend someone I know. It is easy to think that only the people commenting are reading your blog! Hopefully nothing bad will come out of your situation. Don't be too upset :)

GrannySmithGreen said...

Dear Blogging friend,
Try your best to not stress over this unfortunate event. I'm sure things like this happen to all of us. In my case, I may say something--and the second it is out of my mouth, I regret it--and can't hit delete!

As a very wise man once said, "Don't write ANYTHING down that you would not want to see on the front page of the newspaper." I couldn't agree more.

Forgive yourself. It won't happen again. Now, just relax and take a few deep breaths! Ahhh, don't you feel better now?

Preppy in the City said...

I hope you have a better weekend! Try not to worry about it. I have something for you on my blog.

shoeaddict said...

I don't know what post you are talking about but I'm sorry that happened to you. I do know that some things are still on the 'net even after you delete them. I'm sorry to say that I don't know how to fix that.

My policy, always, when I hurt someone, is to just be up front and apologetic. If your friend finds out that you wrote something less than flattering and then gets upset, all you can do now is apologize.

Hope you have a better day today.

More, More, More said...

I can so feel your pain and have recently gone through a similar situation. So many blog friend came back and said much what people are saying here. It's your blog and place where you go to talk about how you feel with the support of a great loving and forgiving community. It will blow over. It's a tough deal and you will probably find your writing a little less sassy - at least for a while. I can't imagine your writing be offensive in any way either but people can be so sensitive can't they? Hang in there - it will blow over!

Buford Betty said...

You're being WAY to hard on yourself, kiddo. But I understand. I have definitely gone back and edited posts - we've talked about this! haha... but I've never deleted a whole post. So I say edit, not delete. Haha... I didn't want to change my # of posts - isn't that dumb? Like I didn't want post #200 to become #199. I'm weird like that.

Kappa Prep said...

Do not fret! You are a wonderful person. Each and every blogger has a similar post I am sure. You made a mistake and are very sorry so really do not let this ruin your day, weekend, week or month!

thepreppyprincess said...

Oh Miss PPC...

Hopefully by the time you read this the anxiety level is down even a little bit, although we can *completely* sympathize. It is the sort of thing we would obsess over, fits the bill perfectly, although who the guy was and exactly why he was asking might outdo it on the Obsess-O-Meter.

Sending a cyberhug,
TP

Rickrack and Pompoms said...

Tell that man to stay off your blog, he obviously doesn't understand the whole blogging thing. Sounds a little weird to me.

preppypearlgirl said...

I can understand why you would be upset about that. I cant believe he called you out like that, thats just not right. Also, it was a man...trust me I know...men can be so creepy! I think you have every right to be able to vent, and nobody should make you feel like you cant do that by spreading the word about your blog. Dont worry though, you did nothing wrong! I hope your feeling better about this! I do remember that post though, and there was really not a thing wrong with it that I saw!

Jillian, Inc. said...

I'm a little late in getting in on this, but I really feel for you. And I had NO IDEA that deleting didn't actually get rid of a post. I am sure no true harm was done- though I know you feel bad.

Gigi Minor said...

Oh my gosh K! But like everyone has said - don't worry about it! Big pink hugs to you!

lera said...

Yikes. That is terrible. I am so afraid that someone might recognize me some day (probably right when I am scolding my children or something awful like that). Anyway, some of my blog posts have upset my family and I ended up saving them as drafts and unpublished them. It's still there for my reference, but not there for them to see it. Glad to hear that it worked out for you and the deletion. (And too bad I didn't get a chance to read it first!)

Brie said...

It's definitely food for thought. My blog was started with my biz in mind (even though lately I am ALL over the place with it) a lot of customers know about it so I choose my words carefully.

I would completely die if a stranger yelled that to me in a hotel!

Live and learn and don't beat yourself up over it

Pink Lemonade and Peonies said...

Sorry not to have gotten to you sooner.

That guy seems so strange. I have had people (friends, co-workers) tell me they read my blog & I haven't shared my site with them.

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