Warning...vent session...
Ugh. Today was tough. Today was supposed to happen yesterday but got pushed to today. I've been dreading it for weeks. So it sucked to have it pushed back 24 hours. Plus I have my period so I am extra emotional. And I am super emotional on a regular day.
My kids have this really horrible mean neighbor. He screams at them ALL THE TIME. About everything. He is a finger pointer and shaker too. He comes on our lawn screaming, pointing and shaking his finger regularly. Feels rightful to come on our property, park his cars on our property, garden his yard from our property, boss my kids around, and everything in between. He screamed at them to tidy up our side of the shared fence. So they did. And he is livid. He made a mother (like a girl's real mother who came to help one weekend) feel terrified. And he is PROUD of this reaction. P R O U D. He is wretched.
So I set up a face to face meeting today. Well yesterday but it got pushed (at their request yesterday morning) until today. I brought my father because my latest working theory (and I feel even more sure today) is that he has issues with women. I won't get into it as this is a public forum but needless to say my father and I both left the meeting shaking and I was in tears. It was that bad! I have met some horrible people but this person was prideful of his despicable behavior. And I just cannot be expected to be polite to someone who treats my kids, my organization, my father and myself in such a manner. I am still shaking.
My kids are awesome! Not perfect. On occasion, a few need a time out. But that is rare. 99% of the time, they are fantastic! They are super smart and active and pretty and kind and involved and they are just all around great kids. They drive me crazy but they are my kids. They did nothing wrong. In fact, they went above and beyond to be nice to a person who is mean and hateful. He wants us to provide property improvements because we weeded his side of the fence. Not a lie.
I am so mad and flustered. I am mad at myself because I keep apologizing to this nasty person for something that doesn't even require an apology. And have offered a solution that will cost a lot and will take up a LOT of my time. I hate that I give in like that to mean people. He comes on our property all the time and he first denied it and then never apologized and was pissed when I said he needed to never do that again. When he denied it, I said I had many photos and his wife flew off the handle saying I am not allowed to take a photo of their car even if it is on our property.
Pretty much, everyone wants to put baby in the damn corner lately. Etsy says I can't talk and Nasty Neighbor Family says I can't take photos of my property. Well, baby's done, folks! D O N E. Done talking about the damn fence. Done dealing with Etsy. And officially as of today, done apologizing to mean, nasty, proud of his hateful behavior neighbors. I will be polite to a degree. But I will not let you treat my kids like that. My really amazing, fantastic, hard-working kids!!
I'm not all doom and gloom. I'm just disappointed in myself and frustrated in the situation. I don't like confrontation and I don't like not being able to fix things.
End of rant.
I made the most amazing GF brownies (post coming soon) last night though, so there is always sunshine on the horizon. In the form of fudgy nutty goodness. I don't like cake or much care for chocolate but a really good brownie is my happy place.
Also, I just watched the new show, My Generation, and I can't decide if I am going to like it. I like the idea of the show but there are so many characters that I had a hard time following along.
16 comments:
There's not that much to do about people like that unfortunately. Just stay strong, stay firm, and do your best to not let it get to you. And take a night just watching a movie and doing something relaxing because it sounds like you've been put through the ringer! Hope everything works out okay :) Wishing for the best.
I used to have a similar problem. He made me scared and shaky and I didn't know what to do. So I went down to the police station explained what was happening and asked what my options were. They advised me to put up a sign that said private property parking by authorized vehicles only all others will be towed. (the sign was provided by the towing company) They also said if he comes on the property or makes inappropriate noises to call them and they will speak to him. They actually came out after the talk but it didn't seem to work. So when he parked on our side I called the towing company. He came to the door all blistery and I asked him why he's so mean to me. He stomped off and didn't bother us again. :)
Preppy in Pink-
I've thought about it but have yet to go to the police. I think I'm going to at least go talk to them. Thanks for the advice.
And thanks for the sweet words, Prepfection!
Aww, P. It just hasn't been a good week or so for you. My advice? Get the police involved. Start journaling when he yells at your kids, etc....and the next time he or his car is on your property, call the police non-emergency line. Explain that you've been having issues with a loud and confrontational, potentially violent neighbor, that you've tried to resolve the issue, but he will not stop harrassing and trespassing. Show the journal to the cops. They'll go talk to him, chances are he'll have the same attitude towards them, and they'll tell him to shape up. That will let him know that you're not going to be walked all over. If he tries anything again, call the police again. If you can, (and check the laws for your state, I know in MO a party being videotaped does not have to be made aware of it) catch one of his rants on camera. Heck, tell him you're recording because I doubt that will calm him down.
Be a fighter, babe. :)
Speaking of, I need to forward the reply I got from the people at Regetsy regarding the email I sent them that I cc'd you on.
Chin up, hun.
~K
Woah! How old are your kids? I say call the police and at least make a report - I had a problem with someone once and when I spoke to the police they said there was nothing they could do about that incident but they kept the report on file as back up for any future incidents.
Oh I know I call them my kids but they are really college kids. Not little kids. I am just trying to make sure the blog doesn't create more problems down the road for them by me blabbing my big mouth.
Some people only know how to be nasty. I would take Preppy in Pink's advise and talk to the cops to see what can be done.
Bless your heart. Call the cops. Maybe he'll move!!!
Time to call the cops, definitely. Hopefully they will have some good advice, even if they don't get fully involved. We need a better neighbor, and the kids have enough to deal with besides him. Hopefully if the cops do get involved at some point, he will figure out that hes a jerk and should just hush.
I'm sorry you're having such a horrible experience with your neighbor. As for My Generation, I'm with you. I think I like it but I kept rewinding to the beginning when they showed the characters in high school so I could figure out who was who. I think I'll give it another shot. But one things was really bothering me. They're supposed to be in Austin yet not a single of one of them has any hint of a Texas accent. What's with that??
I am so sorry to hear about all of this! I really will never understand what people get out of being so mean. I agree with Preppy in Pink though, it may be time to go meet with the local police just so they are aware of the situation and can give you some advice on how to handle.
I agree with K! Make a journal of his actions and especially make note of your attempt to mediate and remedy through your meeting. Oh and here's a tid bit I learned in my Communication Law class from college. You can take whatever picture you want of him as long as it isn't in his house! If he is outside then he is in a public domain and you can photograph/videotape/record him and he can't say anything! His behavior has gone over borderline harassment and you need to call the police to have a discussion with him.
ICK! I hate mean people! Love the blog though... I'm your newest follower from the FFF ;)
Granted, I'm just a lowly law student and not a proper attorney, but I'm pretty sure that what he is doing by parking his car on your property is trespassing, not to mention his entering your property. As a property owner, you have the right to exclude, meaning you get to say who comes onto your property.
I would say, call the cops and threaten him with a lawsuit. For some people, even just the threat of a lawsuit is enough to make him back down.
maybe you should tell him that a security camera has been installed and if he doesn't want to be filmed, he might want to stay off your property.
I had similar issues once. The police said that if this person was verbally abusive that it's considered harassment and to call them.
The best thing to do is call the regular number (not 911) and talk to an officer and ask for some advice. I'm not sure about the police in your area, but over here they are pretty helpful.
Good luck!
Oh goodness! I would definitely get the police involved like other commenters said. There's no reason for him to behave like that and there's absolutely no way he should be able to intimidate you, your kids or their parents! Don't be too hard on yourself - it sounds like you're taking the high road in a very awful situation.
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