**Spoiler Alert**

I started my weekend off right by reuniting with my four favorite New York women. No, not the Bravo housewives from NY and NY! Though did y'all catch the reference to them? Oh how I miss the ladies from Sex and the City! I didn't think the movie was quite as amazing as the first. And the scenes with the Abu Dhabi housewives as they were escaping the market was sort of dumb to me. Then again, I thought every scene with Jennifer Hudson last time was dumb. You can't win them all I guess. But overall I loved it. I laughed a LOT! I love love LOVED the wedding with Liza with a Z! Dressed in white "like a virgin." The singing chorus men and swans. Hilarious! The clothing was amazing as always. Loved seeing the girls in 80's get up. And I didn't even mind seeing Miley Cyrus (she bugs the heck out of me) as her scene was short and rather cute. And I loved the scene between Miranda and Charlotte sipping cocktails at the bar, talking mother to mother. Overall, I give it a two thumbs up. But did anyone else get the feeling that this really was the very end of the series? I sort of felt like they were stretching for material this time and would come up very empty handed if they attempted a third movie. That said, I'm sure I would go if they made a third. That's saying a lot considering I average 1-2 movies a year.

So what did y'all think about this week's episode. After I watched I (like the loser I am- ha!) read their blogs on Bravo's website. It seems that the night of Kelly's explosion, Ramona called Jill to tell her about it. She asked Kelly to leave to go home and get help and asked Jill to meet her at the airport to help her as she really needed a friend who understands the group dynamics. Jill didn't take Ramona seriously so Bethenny also go on the phone to explain that this was a truly serious situation and that Kelly really needed Jill to meet her in NYC at the airport. Jill never once mentioned her plan to "surprise" the women during those conversations. And she was fully versed on the situation. Instead of meeting Kelly to help her, she went out of her way to do what we saw. So that's a little background for y'all.

Even before I knew all that, I thought Ramona did the most responsible thing she could have done in that lose lose situation. Everyone made a big deal about Ramona asking Jill to leave, and perhaps she did off camera. But from what I saw, there wasn't any major "leave now" happening. It was obvious that Jill needed to leave to her and everyone else. But again, maybe there are parts not shown during the episode?

I tend to click away when major drama (ie: Kelly) comes on the screen and then I miss parts before I click back. The last two weeks I've not done that of course but I think I missed the explanation of why Jill was doing an ice skating routine wearing an actual ice skating dress. So please fill me in- what was that all about? What was the point? Also, is the Jennifer woman a new housewife or just a side friend? She's not in the intro or listed on Bravo's page but she pops up a lot lately. Hopefully she is Kelly's replacement.

What got me the most was that Kelly clearly does not see her actions as they actually happened. Not in the scenes we watched (hello she out and out lied saying that Bethenny admitted to sabotaging her in the press! And she is still talking about the damn jelly beans.) or in her blog on Bravo. I don't even want to call her a nut anymore because she clearly has serious and major mental/medical issues. I feel sorry for her in a strange way. I mean, I don't like her. But no one should suffer from whatever it is that she suffers from.

So what did y'all think? And have you ever had a relationship that is even one tenth as dramatic as their friendships? Normal people don't fight like that. I mean, if I ever felt that strongly about someone, I would just refrain from speaking to them in the future. No need to pretend to be friends with fake lunches or events that end in screaming matches. Who has the energy for that bologna?

Every so often I develop a new food obsession. I've been fascinated by all sorts of quirky edibles from flax seeds to flowers (IE squash blossoms) and lately, fiddleheads. I'd seen them but never tried them until last week. Someone put them in a salad and I quickly fell in love. They're actually baby fern heads that grow in the northeast part of North America (right where I live) and are harvested in the spring. You can read more here if interested. They're tender and just plain fun to eat. And I figured that a few of y'all might be new to this little green treat too. If you see them at a local market, pick up a bunch. Blanch them and toss in a salad or do what I did last night, add them to one of those frozen bag meals. I know I cannot be the only person who makes those from time to time, right? But I always need to add stuff- usually lots of frozen veggies or leftover meat. Tonight, these were some of what I added to jazz it up and if I do say so myself, it was delish! They look like ancient fossils to me.

I hope everyone had a weekend with weather as lovely as mine! De-light-ful! I actually turned the AC on for the first time this year. But oh the sunshine. I never appreciated sunshine growing up in Fort Lauderdale. It's always sunny in south Florida. My aunt used to visit us and go on and on about the sunshine. And I used to think, but don't we have the same sun and moon? I didn't get it until I moved up North. Where we can go weeks in the winter without a single ray of sunshine. Now I get it and sort of miss living in Lalaland.


On the way up to Lake George today to celebrate my little cousin's college graduation with family, I told my father (with pure pride and glee in my voice) that I was so tan already. And the man had the nerve to laugh at me. Apparently a slightly darker shade of albino is not considered tan to most people. Whatever. I feel pretty...oh so pretty... Bonus points if you sang that last bit in your head!


Rounding out my happy weekend, I was able to use my new bag. Made for me, by me. I LOVE it! It's not pink but I don't care because I think the giraffe ribbon is adorable and fabulous and works as a neutral. Or as neutral as I ever get that is.

My pal Ava celebrated her first birthday on Saturday. A very big day in every girl's life. It included showing how well she walks (Oh how I love to see babies toddle. They look like little drunk people who sort of Weeble Wobble.), sort of saying "ball", sticking her fingers in cake after lots of prompting from the 30 guests staring at her, and proclaiming that the card envelopes and boxes were the most fabulous part of her pile of presents. Babies really have quite a great thing going for them. They walk when they want to and get pushed in strollers that include snacks and cup holders when they want to rest and nearly everything they do is photogenic. Such a life!






To celebrate, I made her a few gifts to wear in the coming year. A onesie/skirt combo with pink flamingo fabric. I just started making skirts to match onesies and I'm loving them. The elastic waist should ensure that it fits for a good while, even if just over a diaper at the pool.









And a pillowcase dress that ties on one shoulder instead of two with a giant chocolate covered strawberry. I am obsessed with my strawberries this season. I've added them to onesies, bibs and now a dress. Looking at the photo I am wondering if it's perhaps a bit too giant but as I've already given it away, she will just have to live with it.

Dear Kelly,

Your behavior is unconscionable. It reached all time low this week. It has taken me until now to even find the words to blog about it. After watching your train-wreck of an episode, I was awake in bed for hours. It was just that disturbing. Clearly you are a few fry fries short of a Happy Meal!

When Bethenny said to the other women, "I told you so," I very much felt her relief. I too saw from your first episode that you were just not right. I really felt like you were on drugs to be perfectly frank. And I'm not sure that's untrue. But now I am convinced that you had something incredibly awful happen to you during your childhood in the 70's. I have no idea if it was abuse of some sort or just parents who insisted you never show emotion or what, but I think there is something much more sinister happening inside of you. And for that I am so sorry. But that is no excuse for your behavior now or any other time.

Ramona put together an amazing vacation. Now I have no doubt that it was paid for by advertisers, but she still took the time to put it together and plan every fabulous detail. The food, accommodations, sights, and more were truly remarkable. You were rude nearly from the get-go. You seem unable (by choice mind you) to get along for the sake of getting along. And you love to put others down in an effort to build yourself up. Which is obviously why you bonded with Jill and Luann as they too love that life tactic. But watch out....that tends to bite one in the butt eventually. And it is a miserable character trait to possess. If you can't behave in the company of four, how to you plan to manage yourself in the company of more than four?

So many things you say and do make zero sense. No processed foods but jellybeans and lollipops are OK because they are fun. Lemonade to lemons. Bethenny trying to kill you. Presents are bad. Ramona and Bethenny tongue kissing. Talking on your phone in the middle of company when you have an entire house and property to carry on a private conversation. Telling everyone, including your generous hostess, to "zip it." Telling everyone that they are not allowed to have feelings and that feelings are so 1979. Screaming crazy and then skipping back to the table with candy (or should I say "candy" wink wink?). Oh honey, you bring the crazy like no other! And not just now. All last season too. And lest you try the "editing" excuse, you also brought the crazy at last season's reunion show. Own it. You said those words. Your body skipped about. Your face made those expressions. You can't edit a new face, my love.

I sincerely hope two things. The first is entirely selfish on my part but I do believe it will be in the best interest of both you and me. Please do not come back on this or any other TV show (or movie or any other media outlet) ever again. Not just next year. Never. Walk away and live a quiet life. That way I can continue watching the show (because I promise you Bravo TV, I will not watch if she is on the show beyond this season!) and you don't have to make things worse for your public image. An image your created. Oh and this is a side note but I absolutely cannot stand when public figures (celebs, politicians, anyone who chooses to be in the public eye) get all huffy puffy defensive when things turn south. I didn't hear you complain about people judging you when they were raving about your movie, politics, TV show, opinions, etc. I didn't hear you complain when people said you were so nice or beautiful or professional. But when you hear people say you were not good or not nice or brought the crazy, you play the "don't judge me" card. That's just crap. I didn't sign up to be on a show. You did. You wanted people to judge you. Oh sure, you wanted them to love you and want to be you. But you still desired judgement. The hard thing is when you realize that you cannot control the way people digest what you say and do. It ain't purdy, is it?

My second hope for you Kelly, former wife of Gilles Bensimon (Holy who cares. She says that every other episode. The only reason I know his name is because she says it all the time. He can't be that great if y'all are no longer married and you have custody of your kids. As the runner up for Crazy of the Year would spout, just sayin'.) is that you get intensive professional help. And I mean in the form of a team of actual doctors who passed their medical boards and can prescribe drugs. Not someone who will read tarot cards or wave herbs around your house. Not that those are bad. I guess. For some people. But you need serious assistance. With all sincerity, I believe you need in-patient therapies. You have absolutely no sense of reality. Forget about your lack of manners and such. You don't seem to know which way is up. You can't put words together. And then of course, you have a deep-seeded fear of feeling anything. This episode took place months ago. I'm so hoping that you will come on the reunion show to tell everyone that you have been in a hospital or a Promises type place that the celebs seem to pink puffy heart these days. I hope you say you are on a weekend leave to tape the show with doctors standing by. And I hope you have made enough progress to sincerely tell Alex, Bethenny and Sonja you are sorry for the things you said and did. And to grovel at Ramona's feet for behaving that way when she was so kind to host you for the week.

Sugar, please get yourself the help that you so desperately need. If not for me (because truth be told, I've never liked watching you) or yourself, do it for your beautiful daughters. Quit lying (oooh child, you lie a LOT!) and quit acting rude and ungrateful and unkind and strange. Get help and then go live a quiet life with daughters who are encouraged to express their emotions in healthy ways.

Sincerely,
KK

Look at these cute and colorful summer items I spied at Target today. I love the big metal buckets but I already have two plaid ones from a few years ago when Cynthia Rowley did that fabulous summer line. So wish she would do that again- I have the best little lovelies including a set of lemon shaped appetizer plates. I mean, what could be better than a lemon shaped plate?! Oh I know, I ask all the tough life questions around here. Haha.

So for your viewing pleasure...

Trashy TV, that is! I can't believe I've waited this long to gossip about our favorite loons in NY and NJ. Oh we have so much to talk about. I'm not thrilled that RHNY and RHNJ are overlapping. I don't watch the OC and Atlanta (they are both just too much for me- give me a headache- and that's saying a lot considering the crap that's going down in the Northeast this year!) and miss my crazy girls in NY and NJ.

But let's start with the Real Housewives of New York. My first loves. Woa nelly! They are all off their rockers this year. Let's go back to season one. Waaaay back then I loved Jill and Bethenny because they told it like it was and they made me laugh my ass off. They both went too far but they made me laugh all the same. Alex and Ramona were my least favorites. They both bugged me for different reasons. And Luann was sort of in the middle. I never would have classified her as "classy" but I didn't hate her either.

Fast forward to this season. I absolutely cannot stand Luann. She is just beyond tacky and fake. Phony bologna is a better title than Countess if you ask me. I actually felt this way last season but it's confirmed big time now. Oh and if I see that gong necklace around her neck one more time I might scream. But she seems to have a lot of people kissing her bologna butt because everyone is all countess this and countess that and I can only call you countess. Gag me. And her "music?!" I saw her on Andy Cohen's show and she was proud as the sky is high about her record contract. How does she not get that she is the "royal" version of William Hung (That's his name right? That guy who had a terrible voice but tried out for American Idol years ago...)? She must really be hard up for friends because she is attached to Jill's behind this season and it's just icky. That scene a few weeks ago with the two of them in their silk nighties in bed. Weird. Who dresses up in lingerie for a best girlfriend? Ugh...she is just so two-faced and it annoys me to no end.

Jill. I used to really get a kick out of her. But her true colors have really shown through this year. She really is a mean girl. She's like the head mean girl and Luann is like second in command under Jill and Kelly is the dippy third wheel. But Jill and Luann seem to get a high from being nasty. It's sick. I used to know someone like Jill who sort of kept tabs on what she did for you. And would tell everyone on the planet. I knew all about how she "selflessly helped" her "very best friend" in ridiculous detail. But it all came with a price because there was this unwritten contract that you owed her your life in return. Nothing was just because that's what friends do for each other. Everything had a price. That's Jill. Think back over the three seasons and you'll notice she is that way with everyone. They all "owe" her something. She's totally two-faced too. She and Luann love to tell everyone how much better they are than everyone else. Jill also loves to tell you how much money she spends. That actually grosses me out most. I think it's clear she regrets what she did to contribute to the Bethenny situation but I think it speaks volumes that Bethenny continues to say she is just over the situation and has no plans to make up as good friends ever. Mean girls never win at the end of the day (or season as the case might be).

Kelly. Never liked her. Still don't. She needs inpatient therapy. Like a 90 day program. At least. I can't wait to see her explain how Bethenny is trying to kill her next week. Kelly brings the crazy like nobody's business. And the Great Gummy Bear Debate of 2010 will have me laughing for years. Come on...that's just funny shit!

Ramona. I used to cringe when she came on screen. And she's still a loon. But she has a softer side and makes me laugh. I think it's awesome that she is renewing her vows at the 17 year mark. I like quirk. Why is 15 or 20 years better than 17 (Jill!)? It's not. I dig it. And I love her short hair. That might contribute to me liking her this year in a strange way. It makes her look more regular and to that I can relate. And how hilarious is it that she and Bethenny and Alex are now good pals? We never could have seen that coming two seasons ago. The boat trip looks fabulous and I so wish I was there instead of Kelly. I never fight or scream or act wacko.

Sonja. I didn't think I would like her at first. Girl loves to talk about sex. But she's growing on me. She (so far) seems to be a genuinely nice person. And her home is awesome! I'm curious to see how she fits in as its clear that every cast member must decide if she is a Blood or Crip.

Bethenny. Still my favorite. She has the best one liners. And I think she got the short end of the stick from her friendship with Jill. She's said some inappropriate things but she always recognizes them and apologizes. I respect that. And she was so right to call Luann a snake. She is. I can't wait to watch her new solo show too.

Alex. She was once my very least favorite and now I sort of think she is closing in on Bethenny. Can you believe that? I can't! She does her hair now. So that alone is a big change from season one. She doesn't seem to be all "my kids are geniuses" and that's nice too. Basically she and Ramona seem more like regular women instead of ladies in expensive dresses who can't come to the party because their heads are too big to fit through the door. It's refreshing. Simon still gives me the heeby jeebies though. But he's not on all that often so I'm dealing with it.

What is bothering me this season is that it is turning into RHOC. The reason I stopped watching that hot mess of a show is because they yell and scream and fight and act like damn fools all the time. I think the preschoolers I used to teach at Sunday School had better manners than the OC women. I really hope that things calm down in NYC because I find myself holding the remote control to click away when the fight like buffoons. Which means lately I am missing at least half of the show.




Now the NJ ladies. Who fight less and are quickly becoming my favorite Housewives show. They are all hilarious. Well except for our favorite ex-con, Danielle. She is just beyond gross. I don't even have words. The extra seats when she knew Jacqueline and Dina weren't coming? WTH? And having a luncheon for your daughter when she is in school and cannot attend? WTH? She just makes no sense at all to me. Who is the father of her children and what kind of person is he that Danielle gets majority custody? So many unanswerable questions! I sort of want to move to New Jersey and get my hair done at what seems to be the one and only hair salon in the entire state to get to know Jacqueline, Dina and Teresa. Clearly Aquanet has cornered a special market in NJ- they have some BIG hair over there! Caroline still scares me.

And that brings us to now. Whew, that was way shorter than I thought it would be. It's a crazy two hours of television for sure. Trash-tastic television that makes me cringe and laugh all at the same time. I'm so curious to know what y'all think so far this season... Does anyone out there really like Danielle or Kelly?

This Lilly Pulitzer fabric ice cream cozy and tote bag made with hot pink Kate Spade fabric (both made by yours truly) are just two of the many fabulous goodies you can win when you visit this great blog. Go now. And win lots and lots of awesome goodies. Happy Mother's Day!