Oh my gracious!  Please, please tell me you have seen the best show on television.  Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

And by best show on TV, I clearly mean the most trash-tastic, train-wreck-alicious, so bad it's good show on TV.

But y'all already knew that, didn't you.  You get me.  We're kindred spirits, my best peaches.

So when I saw previews for this show, I couldn't figure it out.  I don't watch those pageant shows because I don't even watch the adult pageants.  I really, really dislike pageants.  I went to the Miss UGA pageant many moons ago and have been scarred ever since.  Oh lawdy...just because you twirled the baton in the first grade parade through the cafetorium does not mean you should perform this "talent" as a 20-something in front of thousands.  That night was a strange swirl of embarrassment for people clearly not self-aware enough to be embarrassed and uncontrolled fits of laughter at inappropriate times.

But I digress.

SOURCE

So I happened to be flipping channels and found myself watching the first episode of Honey Boo Boo and was still confused.  But sort of hooked. 

Second episode watched, and I wanted to move in with this crass family. 

But only for a skinny minute because they diet by eating pork rinds, pass gass every two seconds, the mother has my new favorite condition, Fork Lift Foot, and no one goes by their given name.  Or even a nickname that makes a lick of sense.

This show is everything you want in 22 minutes of mindless television.  And then some.

The show is basically a combo deal of all the other weird shows on cable networks.  If you combine the obese people shows with the couponing shows with the pageant shows with the redneck shows with the hoarding shows with teen mom shows...you have Honey Boo Boo.  Even if you don't like those other shows, this is sort of like the best of.  In a weird way.

Oh and this show TOTALLY proves my theory (super scientific and stuff) about pageant daughters vs pageant mothers.  If you've ever seen the previews, which is pretty much all I've seen for those shows, you know exactly what I am talking about.

Word!

Now go get yourself some pork rinds and pixie sticks and snuggle in with your (gay) pet pig to watch the most awe-inspiring half hour of television evah. 

Oh Honey Boo Boo...you complete me.  Or at least, my need lately to have a guilty pleasure mindless show that makes me laugh endlessly.

Fork Lift Foot.  That is just never not funny, y'all!

Also, I reserve the right to change my mind about this show's awesomeness at any point in time.  I tend to lose interest in these types of shows after a few episodes when TLC starts staging them and sending them on trips.  See: every episode of Kate Plus Eight.