Dear Bravo TV,



Guess what I did? Give up? I cut out your Real Housewives New York, New Jersey and everything else cold turkey. I realized that watching your Real Housewives shows left me feeling upset. Physically upset and angry. From a TV show. And that's just not entertaining. So I cut you out. Danny/Danielle style. We're over. And I feel pretty great about it. However, if you kick out Kelly from NYC and Danielle from NJ and bring back Dina, I will consider watching again next season. But for now, I want no part of your nonsense.



Best,

KK





Dear Chelsea Clinton,



I LOVE your wedding dress. And love that you reportedly offered guests a late night snack of brownies and grilled cheese. Adorable.



Hugs,

KK







Dear Rachel Zoe,



I have great news for you! You did not in fact "literally die." I'm fairly certain that no one can literally die from just looking at a coat or pair of sunnies or a necklace. You do however, literally annoy me. But I'll totally watch your show. For exactly one reason. Brad! LOVE Brad!! I would be fine if he had his own show. Short shorts, bow ties and all.



Love,

KK







Dear Taylor from Rachel Zoe, Taylor Momsen and Kristen Stewart,



Come out of the dark cave y'all hide in while painting your nails black, sucking on lemons and perfecting your grimace. Smile, dammit! At what point did refusing to be happy become a "thing" in life? Embrace joy. Put the lemons down, ladies. Turn those frowns, upside down!



Smiles,

KK





Dear Justin Bieber,



Get a hair cut. Pull your pants up. And while you're at it, get your pants hemmed. What on earth could you possibly be "writing" about in your memoir. You're a Canadian teenager. A few years ago you were toting around a lunchbox. There seriously cannot be enough to warrant an entire book. Perhaps a pamphlet would be more appropriate. Tri-fold of course.



Sincerely,

KK





Dear University of Georgia,


Way to go on being named the #1 party school in the nation! Drink up, bulldawgs!



Cheers,

KK