Picture it, late Saturday night (bonus points if you get that 80's reference) and I am checking email in the den before bed. Sadie is sitting by my feet. The TV is on- but I am not paying attention. I hear something.

**OK, so backtrack here to a few years ago when I lived in an English basement apt on the Hill. The house that I lived in had a rat (ew, ew, ew!!) problem in between my floor and the first floor. So while they didn't come into my apt, I could hear them all night walking in the space above my bed and under the first floor. My point is that I am familiar with this particular sound. Back to my story now....

I hit mute on the TV to listen closer. It sounded like a rat running in the duct work above me. I screamed and jumped up on the sofa. You know, because that was going to solve my problem. But then I heard something in the utility closet that is adjacent to the den. OMG the rat was coming to get me! I screamed and ran to the next room. I heard shuffling. I screamed again and ran to the foyer. What can I say? I am a very jumpy person and absolutely detest feeling scared. Why anyone would go to a scary movie is beyond me. But I digress. So I am standing in the foyer now and then I see something flying. FLYING!!! I screamed crazy high pitched sounds and ran into my bedroom and closed the door tight. But after a few minutes when I semi-calmed myself down, I realized that I didn't have any of the phones in my bedroom. Shit!! I stood next to the door and listened. I could hear fluttering for a while. So I jumped up on my bed holding my make-shift weapons, a pink umbrella and a small, flat Priority Mail box. I have no idea what I was going to do with these "weapons" but they somehow made me feel a little safer. So about an hour passes with me sitting on my bed, holding my weapons, facing the door, in total silence to listen for my winged creature. At some point I hear Sadie at the bedroom door trying to get in and I open it enough to let her enter. But finally the need to tinkle gets the best of me and I have to leave my room. I keep the door shut behind me thinking that at least I know the creature is not in my room and it will remain safe. I force my pup into the bathroom with me (she hates the bathroom because she gets bubble baths in there and therefore the whole room is a scary place for her) - she makes me feel safer for whatever reason. I get ready for bed and such and then run into the den again to get my phone. All while holding my box and umbrella weapons. I'm sure it was a sight!

We run back to the bedroom, slam the door, shove fabric under the door and hop on the bed. I call my dad. He's out of town and asleep but I force him to talk this out with me. So I tell him the story and he insists that rats do not have wings so it cannot possibly be a rat. We decide it is either a bird (I sit in the den with the door open to the back deck all the time) or a bat (insert panic!). Dad insists that a bat will not hurt me. I insist that I have seen Jeff Corwin ramble on about deadly crap one too many times to be secure in this statement. Then Dad has the audacity to say to me, well if it came in off the deck then it could be a squirrel too. "OMG Dad, squirrels fly?!!!" I screeched! He felt bad that he made me spaz out like that again. He was falling asleep and I was having a heart attack. I think I finally fell asleep around the 2-3AM mark. And I woke up ever few minutes- I was so paranoid.

So Sunday morning I woke up and Sadie and I tiptoed through the house (again, with my awesome military like weapons of a box and an umbrella!) looking for my winged attacker. Nothing. I sat in the den most of the day with the door wide open in hopes that it would leave the same way it entered. Nothing. Monday came and went. Nothing. Today, still nothing. I swear I did not imagine this. It was there. Maybe it left on Sunday when I was not looking or in the kitchen or doing laundry or something. I hope!

I live in the city. Can you imagine how jumpy I would be if I lived in the country? All those bug and animal noises scare the crap out of me. Ugh, I am getting all panicky just re-telling the story. Please pray that whatever it was has left my house, because I am not sure I am brave enough to face such a scary fly-able thing in person. Is this bad karma due to my $3 Diet Coke theft?