I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Earlier this year we lost our dog, Bailey. In my family, dogs are like children. They are everything to us. We all travel with them, talk about them non-stop, pamper them and spoil them to no end. We don't put our dogs out back. No, in my family dogs have monogrammed and custom made beds....inside of course. The first thing I do when I get home and the last thing I do before I leave the house is love on the pups. Dogs in our family even exchange Christmas presents with each other and their close puppy friends. If you are not a "dog person" this must sound insane. But in my family and extended friend family, there is just no other way.
I had no idea I would miss Bailey this much though. I had no idea of the physical pain that would linger after we lost him. I have good days and hard days but lately I have had some of those really hard days. He had a fantastic life. He was so happy and full of personality right up until the day he died. His love for me, my dad and little Sadie was unending. He and Sadie Kate were too funny together. They would play together and nap together. She kept him young and playful and he taught her how to give me a guilt trip, to clean the dishes as they are going into the dishwasher and to be even more spoiled in life. I miss him soooo much. Our entire family misses him.
I have no idea why this is all surfacing again this week. I mean, I will have a mini cry over him on a regular basis. But in general, I am a crier in life. I fully believe that a good 2 minute cry (in private of course) is cleansing. It sort of gets all of those emotions out of me so I can be normal the rest of the time. This is different though. I feel like I just lost him again. He is so special, as they all are, and is greatly missed and loved. I know he is in a much better place where his legs work and he can run and be a playful puppy again. But I still miss him.
I love you, Bay!
10 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about Bailey :( Hell, my beloved family schnoodle had to be put down... 2.5 years now and it still makes me sad to think about. Even our lab was depressed - she followed Cinder around EVERYWHERE. We had Cinnie for 12 and a half years, since I was in third grade, and she'll always be the best puppy ever.
I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your beloved family member. Bailey sounds like a true blessing.
Kirsten,
I am so sorry to hear about Bailey's passing. I can identify with you even if I don't have pets currently. Growing up we had tons.
I want you to do something.
Go and buy a blank journal book at the store. Now whenever you get blue, in a funk or whatever write in it about what you are feeling. Now that Bailey's loss is so fresh write letters to him telling him about how you feel and that you miss him. There are stages to grief and you are in the middle of it right now. Getting it out on paper will help to get to the next step which is acceptance.
I have 20+ journals that I have kept over the years and when I occassionally have trouble getting to sleep at night I get it out and start writing. It is amazing what comes out at times and always cathartic for me.
Promise me you will do it, K? I miss your sunny, positive, albeit cranky when Dunkin's is out of donuts personality.
Take care and take as long as you need to get through this patch! :O)
~Cindy
I am so sorry for your loss. I grew up in a home with dogs and I can't get enough of my parents dogs still. I am so happy to bring my son up loving the pups as well. Some people don't understand how human our pets can be. It truly is devastating when you lose a pet, they are members of our families. I'm thinking of you.
I can relate! Just remember all the great things about Bailey!
Awww I'm so sorry you've been in a funk. I still feel for you and your fam so much. Just thinking of one of our babies leaving us makes me tear up. I know it's been so hard, but that boy lived such a great life! He was blessed to have such a loving, loving family. So many pups out there aren't so lucky. Love you!
I'm so sorry for the loss of Bailey. I truly understand and if you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to email me [email protected].
I know that feeling and I'm so sad you are sad missing Bailey. My dog of 13 years recently passed and I miss her, too. She had lived with my parents since I moved away 10 years ago and I'm going home for the first time since she's been gone this weekend and I know it will be hard.
HUGS!
What lovely pictures and memories. We had to put our Mr Chubbs down last year and I think of him every day.
So sorry. They are family and it hurts every time. All the great memories will get you through.
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