So when I was out and about running errands on Saturday, I popped into Joann. I am not sure why because I usually make it a rule to avoid it mid day on weekends. It is just too crazy in there. But I hadn't been in a LONG time and it was in the same plaza and well....I went in.

Of course I find a cute fabric that "I need" right away in the Michael Miller section. Now by "need," I mean that I have no plans for this fabric and it is just further proof of my dangerous fabric addiction. Does Promises offer assistance for fabric addiction? Perhaps Britney, Lindsay and I can all be roomies? On my way to get it cut I pass the pattern section. Now I have only used a pattern once or twice. I make my own patterns because I find purchased ones waaaay too complicated for my little self. I also make mine out of cardboard which I find easier beyond words when it comes to tracing. That flimsy tissue paper just baffles me. Or maybe I just don't know how to use them correctly? But I noticed one tiny, crumpled sign on the side of the Simplicity drawer saying that all Simplicity patterns were on sale for $.99! As in a buck! If you are not a sewer/fabric hoarder, most patterns run $10 - $18 on average. So I sat myself down and poured through the Simplicity books. For a girl who doesn't really like using patterns, I managed to walk away with TEN in hand. Things that I think might be fun down the road for gifts and such- hey we have LONG, COLD, LONG winters up here and I will need something to do with myself while hibernating from the chilly world. Of course I added up the regular purchase price of the patterns as soon as I got home. Originally all 10 totalled $136, I paid $10!

I always go to the back (upholstery/decorator fabric section) to have my yardage cut when it is busy because it is always less crowded back there. I was happy to see that instead of being about 12th in line in the front section, in the back I was going to be second. Woo-hoo! But the, what can only be described as odd, woman in front of me had a huge cart of fabric and trims to be cut. I kept myself occupied for a while reading the back of my huge stack of patterns but couldn't help overhearing the conversation between odd woman and Joann woman. Then I noticed that odd woman had an equally odd assortment of dark, Halloween-type fabric. Now I almost never ask when people are making because I am a bit on the self-conscious side myself when asked knowing that 1/2 the time I have no clue just yet what that fabric selection will be one day. But I was so curious- was she preparing for a costume party or a school play? I asked. And I tried my very best not to show my shock on my face when she answered. She replied, "Well I am starting to do Psychic readings so I need some fabric for tablecloths. I have been in school for it for two years training and am finally ready to do readings. I am a Psychiatric Nurse by trade but have really gotten into psychic and mysticism lately." I didn't even know how to respond to that. I was expecting her to say she was making her kids' Halloween costumes early or helping out with a school play or really anything but that. There was a lot of information in that short statement and I had dozens of questions. But I just couldn't find the words to ask without sounding judgemental and rude so I just said, "Oh wow- well your selections seems very appropriate." As if I have any clue what appropriate in the psychic world is but I needed to say something and that was what came out.

Can you handle one final Joann's story? I promise I wasn't there that long. So now I am in line to check out (this is the main reason I don't go on weekends- the line is crazy long and everyone seems to have special issues that require a manager who is busy with her own set of crazy special problems) and I am finally the next in line to be helped. And then....the view to end all check-out line views! The woman in front of me was dressed normal, casual, nice. She had cute, short hair and looked like she could be anyone's mother. As she is standing there though she apparently had an itch on her tushy. We have all been there. But she is standing in full view of the entire line so if it had been me, I would have just done my best to ignore the awkward situation. But it was not me. She starts to full on scratch her cheek as if she is a 17 year old boy in a locker room. BUT THEN.....after several minutes of this it seemed to not be enough relief for her pesky itch. She then actually lifted up her shirt enough to put her hand down her pants to scratch her bottom full on. I tried to turn away but it was just minute after minute of this itching. Now if I spot someone with an open shirt button or tp stuck to a shoe, I am always, always kind enough to let them know in as discrete a way as possible. And I fully expect the same from women out there. But I couldn't exactly tell her to stop scratching- clearly she had a big time itch. It was just awkward and funny and embarrassing all wrapped into one.

Note to self: Remember to avoid entering Joann's on a weekend.

But I do have my 10 new patterns (that I may or may not ever use- let's be realistic y'all!).