I have a lot to say today. I think I've learned as much in the past month as I have in the past year. But I am stumbling over my words. Because the 11th of every month will forever be our day. For better or worse, I just can't make today about me and my life lessons.
Maybe tomorrow.
As much as I know you would want me to get all the words out and as much as I know you are in Heaven moving your head from side to side as I talk to you...not today.
Today I tell you again that I love you. Every minute of every day.
More than a dozen times this past month I have done a double take because I thought I saw you here at home. It's a fraction of a second where I see a shadow or walk into the kitchen or wake up at 4AM to pee and look over where your donut bed, that I know full well is cradling you forever in your resting place, once sat, and think I see you.
It's just a hair of time. But it still gets me. Not in a bad way. I think at this stage it makes me happy that I still feel you and think I see you.
I cry a lot less {though am very literally sobbing and having to take off my glasses as I type this...so there's that} these days. I bring you up as often as I can. Little memories have made me giggle more and more lately. And not a day has gone by without me thinking of you.
I don't know if I will ever get to be a momma. Time's about run out for that dream. But you and I both know that you made me a mom.
You have my heart forever, baby bunny.
XO Momma
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