Thursday, May 11, 2017

One Year Ago We Said Goodbye

Dear Sadie,

One year ago today, you gave me your last kiss in the morning.  You gave your Poppy his last kiss, too.  For the rest of my life, that will be the best gift ever given to me.  To know you said goodbye to both of us, on your own terms, has meant more to me than anything else in this world.

I write about you all the time because I have panic attacks in the middle of the night that I will forget something.  I'm so terrified that even one moment of our 14 years and one month together will leave my thoughts, so I just write it all down and post photos over here as a back-up plan.  

Do you hear me talking to you daily?  I hope so.  Otherwise I'm just over here talking to myself like a crazy person.  Not a single day has passed that I have not out loud told you that I love you, baby bunny.  

I was going to blog about the journey I've been on this past year but have decided to post that tomorrow.  Today, I just want to remember my best friend and sweetest furbaby.  

Sadie, you knew my every joy and kissed away my tears.  You heard my deepest fears and heartbreaks and loved me anyway.  I could be short or tense or rushed and you never ever stopped loving me.  I have so many shortcomings but you were a little angel to see past all of them.  

Sadie, we also had the best adventures together!  You were a total road warrior with me, even though traveling was not your favorite thing to do.  Like me, you were born in Maryland.  And I brought you home with me to Virginia, and then to Washington DC in our tiny but awesome Capital Hill home.  We went to a wedding in South Carolina and to visit Bestie in Georgia.  We eventually moved up here to New York, or what I often refer to as the North Pole.  You were happiest up here because my dad, your Poppy, helped take care of you too.  And while you loved me so much, you were also besties with your Poppy.  It also meant that when I went out of town, you never had to go to a kennel, as Poppy took the very best care of you.  You were, and forever are, so loved!

Everyone who ever met you, even just in passing, immediately loved you.  I've never been a breed specific dog person so I wasn't aware that other Shelties were shy around people.  It was the first thing strangers would tell us if they had some connection to a Sheltie.  You just exuded love.  Always.  If a dog was growling and it's fur was up, you were sure it must be a friendly growl.  {Thankfully this Momma never let you get in real danger and always kept you on a leash!}  

Sadie, you were such a funny little girl!  It kills me that I don't have a video of this because it didn't happen the last few years of your life, as I believe you were deaf.  But for the majority of your sweet life, you would cock your head to the side as I talked to you.  It.  Was. The. Cutest. Thing. On. The. Planet! Your head and ears and eyes...oh you were so cute and funny.  You loved to get on furniture, something I totally reversed my own rules on as the years passed.  You loved to play Chase Sadie or chase squirrels in the park.  You loved walks and loved your cute winter coat.  You were my best sous chef, sitting exactly where I didn't want you to sit as you helped taste test nibbles of chicken or pasta or your favorite...whipped cream!  

My memories are all happy with you in them, my baby bunny.  You made every single aspect of life better just by being your sweet, silly self!  

I have so many more stories I want to share, mostly so that I have the memories for myself as the years pass.  So I will continue to blog each of them.  You are too precious to ever risk forgetting.

I am forever grateful that I got to be your forever momma.  You taught me how to love in a way I had never before known.  You gave my life meaning and routine and comfort.  You made me smile just by being in the same house.

I hope your days in Heaven are amazing and are being spent with Bailey and all of our other loved ones.  You deserve nothing but the best and most joy filled forever, my baby bunny.  And bowls of fresh whipped cream!

Thank you for being the most amazing little girl!  You're forever my baby, my best friend, and my soul mate.  I love you forever, plus one day more...okay...maybe two!

Until our next dream meeting, I love you so much!

XO Momma


MCW said...

Thinking of you today...I know it' hard!

Landlocked Mermaid said...

I cannot believe its been a year. It is so beautiful that you had such a bond together. I wish that the pain eases for you and more memories come as time goes on xoxo

MaggieMcCurdy said...

RIP Sweet Sadie Girl. You've been in my thoughts all week KK, I know it doesn't get any easier .


Related Posts with Thumbnails