Wednesday, January 11, 2017

What's The Timeline On Grief?

Eight months ago today, also on a Wednesday, we said goodbye.  And I still can't type this without sobbing.

I knew your death would shatter me.  I knew it so deeply that I lived in fear of losing you for years.  And I did everything I possibly could to keep you happy and healthy and comfortable every single day.

But I guess I'm not as strong as other people who experience the loss of a loved one.  Or I haven't yet figured out how to tap into whatever it is that prevents the waves of overwhelming sadness and tears.

I thought by now I would be writing a blog post about how one can move on from loss.

That's not where I am though.

I haven't moved on.  I'm still here, looking for you in the den.  Any time there is a change in the weather, my immediate first thought is about your evening walk and how we will manage it together.

Often I feel lost and diminished with my inability to just be normal again without you.  

Why can't I just go more than four days {my current record} without shedding a tear?  What's the timeline on this grief business?  Does anyone know?  Because as hard as I am trying, the progress is so slow and my heart just needs a little break in the game.

I miss you, my baby bunny.  Every single day.

All my heart, 
XO Momma


MCW said...

I am not sure how long it lasts...but hopefully soon your heart will heal. xo

Alayna said...

well that just broke my heart:( I have a furbaby and I know one day he will go on to the rainbow bridge. Hurts to even think about that, so I can't imagine your pain.


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