Sunday, December 11, 2016

Sadie Sunday: 7 Months And Daily Yoga

Oh my baby, today is the seventh month without you and that feels impossible.  How have I gone through life without holding your little paw for seven whole months?

I have my good {read: don't break down sobbing} days and my bad days.  If no one ever again tells me that time will heal something, it will be too soon.  What a crock!  Time heals nothing, we just adjust to a new {and weird} normal.

This past week I looked for you a lot.  I can't help it- it's just so ingrained in me to walk into certain rooms at certain times and look for you.  It's so strange because on one hand it makes it harder when I have those split seconds when I look for you and have to remember you're never going to be here again.  It reopens the wound.  But on the other hand, I don't ever want to forget one little moment of your life.  

I thought about doing Blogmas {a daily blog post for the 24 days leading up to Christmas} or Vlogmas {a daily vlog post on my YouTube channel for the 24 days leading up to Christmas} this year.  But instead, settled on challenging myself to practice yoga every day in December.  So far, I've been diligent!  

But yesterday evening when I was doing a yoga video on my bedroom floor, as I often have done for years, I just started sobbing.  I could feel what it was like to have you come in the room and kiss my forehead.  I could hear our little conversations.  And as much as I never want to lose that very tangible memory, I wish I could learn to better absorb the wave of emotions.  

One day I will get through writing more than two sentences in these Sadie Sunday posts without tears running down my face.  Today's not that day, but I do believe it will come.  No matter what happens though, you are and will always be the little love of my life!  

Namaste, sweet Sadie!

XO Momma

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