I have my good {read: don't break down sobbing} days and my bad days. If no one ever again tells me that time will heal something, it will be too soon. What a crock! Time heals nothing, we just adjust to a new {and weird} normal.
This past week I looked for you a lot. I can't help it- it's just so ingrained in me to walk into certain rooms at certain times and look for you. It's so strange because on one hand it makes it harder when I have those split seconds when I look for you and have to remember you're never going to be here again. It reopens the wound. But on the other hand, I don't ever want to forget one little moment of your life.
I thought about doing Blogmas {a daily blog post for the 24 days leading up to Christmas} or Vlogmas {a daily vlog post on my YouTube channel for the 24 days leading up to Christmas} this year. But instead, settled on challenging myself to practice yoga every day in December. So far, I've been diligent!
But yesterday evening when I was doing a yoga video on my bedroom floor, as I often have done for years, I just started sobbing. I could feel what it was like to have you come in the room and kiss my forehead. I could hear our little conversations. And as much as I never want to lose that very tangible memory, I wish I could learn to better absorb the wave of emotions.
One day I will get through writing more than two sentences in these Sadie Sunday posts without tears running down my face. Today's not that day, but I do believe it will come. No matter what happens though, you are and will always be the little love of my life!
Namaste, sweet Sadie!
XO Momma
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