Friday, November 11, 2016

Six Months After Your Death

Dear Sadie,

It's been six months.  And I still can't get two sentences into a post about you without sobbing.  Like right now.  I am no less heartbroken.  The pain is still so palpable.  

I've never needed you more than I do this week, my baby bunny.  Selfishly, I so badly wish you were here in my arms to smush and cuddle.  Momma is a wreck right now.  The world feels so dark and you were always my light in this life.

I miss your kisses.  I miss rubbing your ears and knowing you were so relaxed.  I miss rubbing your belly and your puds.  I miss our Eskimo nose kisses.  I miss just talking to you.  I miss when you would move your head back and forth as I talked.  I miss your little cry to go out.  

I miss every single thing about you, my sweet baby bunny.  I talk to you and about you daily.  I hope you can hear me.  That hope is often the only thing that gets me through those hardest moments.  

Six months seems impossible,  How can we have been away from each other that long?  Before now, the longest we were ever apart was the four month when you were born before I adopted you and a two and half week vacation to FL last year.  Between us, sweet girl, I'm still so lost.  

This was taken a few hour before you died.  I think you knew,  But you still loved me with your whole heart that morning.  And I loved you with mine.

You will forever be the love of my life.

All my love,
XO Momma

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