And it's not that all of that has suddenly stopped upsetting me or keeping me awake all the hours of the night with constant nightmares. I still feel all the tension and nervousness. I'm no less upset.
But I'm scratching that long post anyway. I don't want to let those conversations play over and over in my brain and on this blog. I will never convince them to be for the environment, for LGBTQ rights, for women's rights, for human rights, for healthcare, or for anything else. We are never going to see eye to eye.
It's hard to make peace with that. It's hard to hug someone who has known me since birth and realize they will never vote for you to have the same rights and privileges as them. And I guess it must be hard on their end to hug me back knowing we just have such opposite view points. I'm not good at letting stuff go and this has been eating at me.
But I don't want to live in this internal turmoil any longer. I'm not in a healthy headspace. I can't hold on to this sadness.
We only get one family in life and like so many others, mine is diverse in viewpoints. We will love each other, even if we don't always like each other's opinions.
So onward and upward. From now on, I am going to focus on more positive things. There's a lot more going on in this big, beautiful world than this toxic election.
Crossing my fingers and hitting my yoga mat hard tonight...