Thursday, September 22, 2016

New Season, New Attitude

I like fall.  I like the crispness in the air and the leaves changing colors and pumpkins.  Fall has a lot to offer.

But I struggle.  Because fall means the end of summer and dum dum dum...the approach of winter.  And winter feels horrible to me.  I feel claustrophobic but also unmotivated to go anywhere.  It feels dark and sad and depressing.  Going days, weeks, or even a month without seeing the sunshine drains a Florida girl!  And this year, my anxiety is working overtime because I don't have Sadie.

It isn't just about her not being here, which is still huge and tangible for me.  But it's the lack of the routine.  I don't have a forced reason to get my coat and boots on and leave this house three times a day when I walk her.  I don't have those cuddles and kisses when I am feeling blue.  I don't have someone to talk to {she was THE BEST listener} when I need to ramble out the jumbled thoughts in my noggin.  

I can feel the winter dread.  It feels like a weight is on my chest.  But I can't seem to move it.  

I'm trying hard to focus on the now.  Because right now, wow is it pretty outside!  It's still warm and the humidity has dropped and the sun is shining.  Right now, it's lovely.  I mean, look at that gorgeous display I found walking in my city last night!  

I can also still get into the garden and play.  Tomatoes are about over- waiting on a few more to ripen before I pull them all out.  But squash and pumpkins and a myriad of other treats are just around still growing strong. If I can get luck back on my side and avoid more theft {one pumpkin has already been stolen}, I should be set for the next nine months with winter squash.  Get ready for a fun game called "just how many ways can KK find to use a butternut squash?"

I like fall.

I'm just working overtime to not fall into a winter depression hole.

I'm a work in progress, my friends.  

What are your thoughts on fall?  Any big opinions either way?  Any suggestions on unusual ways to use on winter squash?

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