Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Unexpected Downside To Using Dating Websites

I think it's odd that people of any generation still have a negative reaction to a single person using a dating website.  How else are people over the age of 22 supposed to meet these days?

Think about that for a minute.  Even if you are married, think about how many interactions you personally have with people of your same general age who are single.  Now factor in gender preferences, lifestyle preferences {hell to the no will I date a smoker...for example}, personality preferences, physical preferences, and anything else that's a factor for you personally such as religion, employment, politics, desire to parent, and so forth.  Then factor in unexplained chemistry.  Because we've all known someone who is "good on paper" but in real life, y'all just don't click for reasons you never really understand.  

And this is just the tip of the being single sucks iceberg, my friends.  It's hard out there for a pimp.  Or like, a single pearl wearing, collar popping, garden obsessed, feminist girl.  For example.  Ahem.

Dating websites are the only way to meet people.  And thankfully, there are dozens to choose from.  Pick an app, any app, and run with it, my single sisters and brothers!

That said, let me slide myself off my high horse for a skinny minute to give you a fair warning about one unexpected negative result that may or may not have happened to me earlier this year {we all know this totally happened to me}.

Some apps are linked up with your social media accounts.  They don't post on the accounts but they will show you if you and the other person have any mutual friends.  

While only your first name is shown to the other person to swipe right or swipe left, when you have an uncommon name and have mutual friends, it's not that difficult to search for a Facebook page.  This was not something I thought about....until I got poked.

First, let me ask if that's still a thing?  I didn't hop on Facebook on year one so I sort of missed the poking phase altogether.  To this day I am not entirely sure what it even means.  Is it just a "hey look at me" thing?  

Anyway, someone poked me.  In true KK fashion, i didn't even notice.  It can take me ages to notice invites and friend requests and the like.  I really only keep Facebook to see friend's kid photos.  By the time I noticed, I had in fact been poked twice.  And friend requested once.  And sent a message.  That's when I got creeped out and figured out how to block someone on a dating app.  

But the thing about dating apps is that most people use more than one.  And this person found me a second time.  They sent me a note via the second app.  And it was a nice note- like hey are you KK from the other app?  We have this friend in common {one friend...not even a close friend...and just one...simmer down hot rod!} and should be friends.  I blocked them again.

And that's when they sent me a second message on Facebook {at this point I was equal parts creeped out and wondering if those three selfies that I took no time to post really look that good that someone would go to full on creeper status to talk to me}.  I blocked them there too.  Block, block, block.  Ain't nobody got time for that kind of crazy.  

So the moral of this story is if you are single, DO use dating websites.  Seriously...go for it.  But be aware of how each site and app differs and plan accordingly.  DON'T post all your personal information.  DON'T be afraid to block the occasional crazy person.  But DO be open to meeting new people.  Even if it just ends up as a funny story to tell your girlfriends over drinks.  

1 comment:

#unmatched said...

oh goodness i'm trying match right now and it's weird. People send you a message and then another and another when you don't respond. Getting rude and/or creepy doesn't make me want to respond! Sometimes I don't respond because I forget to check my account and sometimes I don't respond because I'm not interested (looking at you overweight, smoking 52 year old with kids. living in rhode island. because you meet none of the most basic qualifications I set forth)


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