Thursday, June 9, 2016

Life Goes On...

I have started and even finished a whole heck of a lot of posts lately.  But I can't bring myself to hit publish.  Most mention my Sadie and well...my heart just hurts so much and I break down when thinking about her.

But life does tick on.  And despite my heart being so broken and sad missing my best baby bunny, let me tell you what is making my world keep spinning these days.




Garden Season.  It's here.  It took bloody forever to get here because winter decided to show up this spring.  But now it's in the 80's and the sun is shining and I am outside in that garden getting my hands dirty nearly every day.  It really is my best therapy.  I just sweat it out in my little plot.  It's funny because I am what I call a situational type A personality.  As in, not in all aspects of my life.  The garden, however, is my type A+++ zone.  I want it how I want it and it WILL BE PERFECT.  Honestly, it's kind of in my best interest most of the time because it means I always have something to do and a reason to sweat my fanny off.  My garden increased in size this year {proper post forthcoming...I promise...I even have pics} and I am just tickled about having the extra grow space!

Walks.  I walked Sadie three times daily, but our evening walks were our longest.  We walked miles through our little city, eventually using a dog stroller so she could still go with me.  Those walks saved me more times than I care to admit.  The thing about having a dog is that you have to walk.  It is just not an option, at least when you live in an urban environment without a big yard, to skip or skimp on walking.  So often I would find myself tired or sad or stressed or overwhelmed, but we would go on our long walk and it would change me.  My head always felt a little more sorted out after our walks.  So I still walk.  Almost every night, I take the same walk.  And it's still saving me.

Summer Clothes.  I am a summer.  You know how people are like my colors or style is a specific season?  Yes well, nothing about me is a winter.  I crave bright colors and sundresses and flip flops.  I look better and feel better in all things summer.  Hello Lilly dresses and pony tails and my skin seeing the light of day again!

Friends.  I have leaned on my girls more than ever lately.  For the first time in my life, I've even found myself asking for help.  I've called up District multiple times to ask if I can come over for dinner and a hang out session.  I have called Florida bawling.  I've sent more rambling texts to Godsister than she knows what to do with.  Cancer Sucks has been an absolute dream friend, especially considering we've never actually met.  And Maple Syrup has been my lifeline every single day.  I am overwhelmed and grateful and it's amazing to be reminded how much love is in my world to lift me up and cheer me on.

Dates.  I told District a while back that I am better at dating in the summer.  She thought I was kidding.  I was not.  I am just better at everything when I get to have a little sunshine in my life.

Raspberries.  When we were kids, if given a choice for a treat, bestie Florida would pick white bread and I would pick a bowl of berries.  We laugh because we aren't that different today.  It's summer berry season and like every year, I will spend my left arm to fill that craving.  

Ice Cream.  For better or worse, our summer love affair continues.  A few days after Sadie died, I drove up to VT to hang out with Maple Syrup and we had ice cream for dinner.  I'll never tell but it's possible it's happened a few other times.  Listen...don't judge...I don't do drugs and barely drink...my weaknesses are summer fruit and Ben and Jerry's.  It could be worse!

Yoga.  I fell off the consistency wagon a while back but I am getting back on it.  Sweating that cuckoo back in the clock is the key to me being a better human.  And will hopefully help counteract my ice cream addiction.

Fans.  I think I need a sound machine because I sleep so much better when I have my fan on.  I say this every year and then forget all about it come fall.  Someone remind me come October to buy a white noise sound machine, please!

The Big Bang Theory.  In the days after losing Sadie, I needed a brain break.  The news is insanely depressing these days and it all just gives me a lot of physical anxiety.  TBBT is the new Friends in that it's always on if you take the time to search for it, it's always funny, and it doesn't matter what episode you watch because you can always manage to follow the plot lines.  

So that's what has been making my little life better as of late.  Food, friends, and belly laughs.  What's making your world brighter lately?  

XOKK

2 comments:

MWH said...

Big Bang had me laughing out loud during the last episode! When I lived in NYC I used a sound machine app on my phone. So east and doesn't take up space.

Landlocked Mermaid said...

This post made me so happy. And I'm so happy to hear of all the things that are making you happy . That garden looks so beautiful and yes to icecream for dinner and good friends to share it with. And yoga yes always yoga xoxoxo

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