Wednesday, April 9, 2014

District's Not Dead But I've Lost My Marbles




Here's a little story about how I'm ridiculous.  You know, in the vein of keeping things real around here.

So District and I text chat daily.  Sometimes it's just a quick note and sometimes it's an off and on all day convo.  But it's rare that a 24 hour period goes by without a peep.

The last two weeks though we've been chat light.

Which is fine, we've both been busy.

But then we went the better part of a week without talking.  She didn't reply to my texts or email.  I convinced myself that I offended her somehow.

{Back story is that I am in a cruddy place in my head right now.  Every time I think the battle with the proverbial Mean Girls table is over, they start a new, ridiculous game to make my life hell.  And as a result of this insanity, I am not right in the noggin.  I am hyper-sensitive.  Like more than normal and my every day self is more sensitive than normal people.  I'm like off the charts these days.  I honest to goodness think I have JL PTSD....if such a thing exists.  My point is that I am a touch paranoid about everything I say and do right now.  It's not healthy but I'm working on it.}

So I sent a text asking if I upset her.  Nothing.  I called.  No reply.  Then last night while walking the dog, I suddenly had this feeling that I was being incredibly self-centered.  What if it had nothing to do with me and instead District was hurt or sick?  OMG...I've been misplacing my paranoia.  I still felt my worry was justified but now I should be worried that something is wrong.  Should I track her husband down?  How far should I go to do that?  By the last block, I was dragging the dog home because I was so convinced something was terribly wrong.

When I got home and got around to looking at my phone though, District sent a text saying she was out of town and was without a phone for a week because it died.

Oh.  So...she's not dead.  I mean, that's completely great!  I'd be lost without my preppy, DC connection here in the North Pole.  I'm thrilled she is alive and well and now has a working phone.  But I swear I thought I had cracked the case.  Because being without a phone for a few days is far less logical to me, it seems, than being in a hospital bed.

June first cannot get here fast enough.  Hurry up...hurry the eff up!  I have lost all my good sense and sanity this year.  I need to move on and see sunshine and get out of the house to be outside and touch dirt and wear flip flops.  Those are all actual, physical needs.  What I don't need is to work myself into a tizzy over problems that don't exist.

You know how Mermaid always says she puts her coo coo back in the clock?  Well my coo coo is loose and flying around town somewhere.  If you find her, please return promptly.

2 comments:

MCW said...

I do that all the time! First thought is someones mad and the 2nd is that they are dead! Glad no one has died yet :) Hope you find that cuckoo!

Alex said...

It's funny how the mind works... it has a way of making you completely paranoid about something that turns into nothing. Either way...I hope you start to feel better soon!
-Alex
http://www.monstermisa.blogspot.com/

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