Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Exciting Beginnings: Wine, Gardens, Dates And The Olympics

I was home doing not much of anything last Friday night.  The last night of January.  And I wanted a glass of wine.  So I had one.  A really, really great glass of my favorite wine.

You see, December and January sucked.  Big time.  My volunteer world fell apart.  I'll never disclose details here, but the short of it is that I am no longer PE.  If I didn't qualify to sustain in a few months, I would quit.  I am that disgusted by things that have gone on this year.  Ethics, morals and bylaws have apparently become optional.  It's not just me, masses feel this way.  But the powers that be seem to care less.  So I'm done.  I have no confidence in the leadership or decisions being made.  Time to walk away.

I have wanted to be in the JL since I was four years old.  It was a life goal, not just something I happened upon randomly.  I have known for as long as I can remember that it was part of my adult path.  It's such a significant part of who I am and more than that, who I want to be.  I recently read a quote that said "Love is not blind.  It sees more, not less."  I think that perfectly describes my life-long heart for the organization.

This series of situations has crushed me.  Every time I dare to say out loud that I have never before felt so deflated, life shows up and proves me wrong.  I feel lost and so incredibly hurt.  I fully admit that because I love so hard, I fall extra hard too.  I am to blame for my broken little heart.

But I am also making a very concerted effort to focus on all the good things that have come out of my tenure.  Working in the community and amazingly sweet friendships.  I am reaching out and ensuring that my friendships remain, even when we go our separate ways.  And guess what?  I am finding myself so happy when I focus on those relationships.

So on the last night of what I am determined will be the last crappy month for a good long while, I opened up a very good bottle of wine that I've been saving for years for a special occasion.  Sitting home alone in my unmatched pajamas and toasting to new beginnings suddenly seemed like the most appropriate special occasion ever.

And let me tell you bob, I enjoyed ever last sip.  Of both glasses.

Then on Saturday morning, I woke up to see that the Elsa Top for the month is in one of my very favorite prints: Hotty Pink First Impression.  I need to make that top happen as it just brings such a giant smile to my face.

But that's not all.

Saturday night I had the best date ever.

Baby H in action.  Someone never sits still.

With Baby H.  He held my hand, laughed at my jokes, played fun games, danced with me, gave hugs and kisses, and never once told me I was weird.  There was a glitch when I had to use the restroom and put him in the pack-and-play for 90 seconds, but he's since forgiven me.  We worked it out, as the best couples do.  Baby H knows his Auntie KK loves him big and wide!

Auntie KK hogging Baby H on his first birthday.

Sunday night, I went back for a second date with Baby H and his momma, District {our chaperon}, for a we-don't-care-about-the-Super-Bowl watching {but not really} party.  We ate yummy treats, took time to watch the halftime show {which only proved to disappoint big time}, chatted up a storm and played with Baby H. Then Mr.District came home to watch Downton with me and I got a few more cuddles in with Baby H before heading home to snuggle my pup.  A great Sunday by any measure.

Want more proof that this month is going to be great, come hell or high water?

Guess what I get to do tonight while I miss my first League board meeting in three years?  Sign up for my garden again!  I thought I might be able to get a larger plot this year but it seems that's not going to happen.  But that's OK.  I did a lot with my teeny tiny space last year and I will do a lot more this year.  I worked that soil and it is going to be so much better this year because of all the love, amendments and care that I put in last year.  I can't wait to secure my spot, pick up free seeds and get my plan in place.  Joy, joy, joy!  Growing food and touching soil and being in the sunshine keeps me sane and gives me a happiness that no pill can provide.

And...it gets better.

The Olympics start this weekend!!

I live for the Olympics.  It is hands down my favorite athletic event.  Winter and summer, alike.  I suddenly become a crazy expert on sports normal people have never heard of.  I stay up until 1 AM to watch events on TV and avoid news bits at all costs, to the point of being obnoxious.

So you see...February is already proving to be far better than December and January!  I'm putting the bad juju to bed and purposefully embracing all of the great things that are happening in my little world.

I can't do a thing to control others but I absolutely can CHOOSE JOY for myself.  And that deserves a toast!  Chin chin!!


MCW said...

Only 2 glasses? I would have had the whole bottle :). Hope Feb kicks ass!

amy said...

We share SO many common interests and thoughts. Thinking of you and hoping you're having a fabulous February already!

Buford Betty said...

I love your hair! Hope February brings much joy, tt kk. XOXO

#unmatched said...

I didn't realize you stepped down, one of our PEs stepped down last year too. You gotta do what you gotta do. It sucks to invest so much time in an organization and have diminishing returns and mismanagement.

Unknown said...

Oh, no, not when you were so close to being THE power that be!!! (However that should be grammatically.) I am P-E for my JL, and I'm already starting the ball rolling on major changes. No letting things ride or going with the old flow. Hopefully Sustainerhood will give you a good place to be and continue making a difference.


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