Tuesday, May 31, 2011

And The Winner Is...

Ty, come on down! 

You just won a brand spankin' new pair of Sperry Top-Siders!  Congratulations!  Send me an email with your shoe size, mailing information and confirming your shoe choice.  I will get that to the fabulous folks over at Sperry.  You're going to LOVE your new pair of shoes!!

Dear Satan,

It never occurred to me to confront you until I recently saw Oprah talk about how she confronted her child abuser.  I have no intention of seeing you ever again if I can help it.  So a face to face meeting is completely out of the question.  It's not like you would ever really listen to me or take my words as value anyway.  Instead I am confronting you here.  On my blog and on my terms and in my own timing.

You stole my childhood from me.  You knowingly and joyfully took all of my ability to have a care-free and stress-free childhood.  It was not happenstance.  Parts of it were even planned. 

You made me stand outside for hours and hours in the hot sun just because I refused to hug and kiss you.  As a little girl, you woke me up in the middle of the night to interrogate me regarding who I loved more, my mother or father.  You told me over and over that if I didn't love my mother more, she would die and I would be the only one at fault for killing her.  You grabbed a cleaver and forced me to hold it and then forced it up to my mother's neck the night I told the judge that I loved my parents equally.  I was in the fourth grade. 

You made us sit at the dinner table for hours and hours and hours giving us lectures on all that we did wrong.  Which was nearly always- I'd say 99% of the time is a very conservative bet- made up and only in your sick, delusional head.  It never mattered what exams were the next day or projects left to finish.  If you wanted to scream at us for three or four hours on a school night, we had no option but to just endure.  You abused me and my mother for hours, days and years.  Everything set you off.  You blamed your rage on us. 

You never hid your rage and abuse either.  We did that for you.  Even when a guest was over and forced to endure the misery, we knew what was expected.  Cover up for you.  Pretend it wasn't that bad.  Act normal.  Unlike many abusers who remain behind closed doors, you had no qualms with bringing it out in public.  Restaurants, driveways, churches, school functions, birthday parties, holidays, and then some.  Making live even more stressful trying to not only manage what happened inside the house but also trying to keep things looking semi-normal outside the house too.

Friends never came over to that house because their parents wouldn't let them near you.  As an adult, I don't blame them.  And as a kid, I understood and was relieved.  It was easier to just keep it to myself than explain your fits of rage and terror in front of company.  But a little girl shouldn't have to understand why her friends aren't allowed to play with her every other week.

Remember the time that you picked out paint for the powder room?  And then you went and bought the paint for the powder room.  And my mother painted the powder room, per your request.  But you hated the color and punished everyone for days because she secretly switched the paint color on you.  Even though it was the paint that you picked out and purchased.  You might not remember that, seeing as how it is just one teeny tiny example. 

Remember how you would threaten my mother with your gun?  And threaten to kill my father?

Do you know that I used to get down on my knees and pray to God for a bruise from you.  Dear God, please let him hit me, just once.  I knew that would be my only way out of going to your house.  But I suspect you knew that too.  The difference being that I was only seven, eight and nine years old.  I said this prayer over and over straight through high school.

Remember how you would tape all of my calls to my dad when I was at your house?  And years later when I was a teenager and finally got up the nerve to confront you about it, you were all boastful and smiling proud of your sick self?

Remember how you made up sick and false accusations about my grandfather, one of the kindest, most loving, loyal and noble men ever?  My father?  Me?  And spread them all over town?  Oh no?  Well let me give you one example.  After I stopped speaking to my mother, you went about town telling people that I was doing drugs.  I was a teenager.  A minor.  And I was that kid who never did a damn thing wrong.  Ever.  You knew that.  But you got a disgraceful pleasure out of telling the world crazy big lies about me.  What kind of adult makes up crack-smoking stories about a child?

Remember how you wouldn't allow me to be in choir concerts or theater plays at my church because it was my dad's church on the bad side of town?  (It's actually in one of the most expensive and exclusive areas of south Florida, but that's besides the point.)  You wouldn't allow my mother to drive me to activities at that church so I had to miss out on two years of things until I could drive myself.  How you bashed every single person who went there?  How you refused to let my mother attend my concerts because it was my dad's church?  How that church was my saving grace growing up.  It was the one place that felt like a safe home.  And how the month my father moved out of state, you took up membership.  How you again went about saying horrible things about me and my father.  All while faking religion.  Proof that going to church and talking about church-y things have not a damn thing to do with one's relationship with God and their true inner character.

Now I tremble in fear every time I have to go back to that church for a wedding or baptism.  An actual physical reaction.  I shake knowing how much you love to cause a big scene.  You have taken the peace that once came from walking in those doors.  You have taken away the only place I ever envisioned getting married.  You stole my effing church!

Do you remember all of the nasty, horrible things you said to me, your sons, my friends, my family, my father and my mother?  Do you remember all the nasty, horrible things you said about everyone I have ever known.  Including family members and church members for whom you now put on a fake show and pretend to be some God-respecting do-gooder. 

How about all the holes you punched in the various walls during your dinner lectures?  Remember any of those?  Or the belt you used to threaten us with?  How about refusing to let my mother maintain any of her friendships after the two of you got together.  How about controlling every action she took?  From her clothes to job to hairstyle to words to thoughts to finances...they all had to be approved by you.  And were subject to set you off at any minute.  If she dyed her hair the wrong color she would get in big big trouble.

How about how we had to have your approval to so much as take a walk around the block?  You were the ruler. And it was all subject to change at your pleasure.  You could approve us to walk the dog around the block and by the time we got back, we were in trouble for leaving the house.  Remember the time you approved me to go out to dinner with friends (as in a friend and her parents) when we were in Utah that year?  But I didn't come back when you (in your delusional head) thought I should be back (we were for the record, back when stated we would return after dinner) and you went off for hours?  I came back and was immediately included in the punishment and reminded for years that I should continue to feel guilty for the situation.

Remember how every year on my birthday you would tell me that I didn't deserve to be celebrated?  Because my birthday was a day when I should thank my mother.  That I didn't deserve to be told "happy birthday."  Remember that?  It was every February 22nd to be specific. 

Remember all the birthday parties that I wasn't allowed to attend for my friends because they were on my dad's side of town (like 20 mins away- we're not talking about any great distance) and on your weekend?  Not because there were other family plans going on.  But because the parents were friends with my father.  Of course they were.  Normal parents are all friends with each other.  That's how it works when you are in elementary school.

Remember how you would lock my mother away for hours in the bedroom just screaming at her.  More lectures.  Sometimes those would last all day.  Sometimes all weekend.  No end and no beginning.  And never a known reason. 

Remember when you convinced my mother to kidnap me?  Kept me from family.  Changed my school.  Took away all of my friends.  Refused to let me speak to my father.  I was in the third grade and remember every bloody minute of those many horrible months.

You took every fiber of happiness from my childhood.  You just stole it.  You lied and cheated and stole your way through my sweet pig-tail days. 

You have no shame.  No guilt.  No remorse whatsoever.  You take zero responsibility for your actions.  Your are smug and a bully.  And in your mind, pure perfection.  You think you can do no wrong.

You are a satanic and sadistic bastard.  You are evil personified.

But I am an adult now.  I left when I was 16 and to this day, it remains my proudest moment in life.  It has not been easy.  I still have a few really bad days each year.  Particularly when people tell me I need to just get over it and be nice.  Um, I am nice.  And compared to where I was (emotionally) 20 years ago, I am over it.  But moving past it internally does not mean I will let the crazy back in physically. 

I remain firm in what I said that July 03rd night so many years ago.  I told y'all I was leaving and never coming back.  I meant it then and have meant it every skinny minute for the last 17 years.  A child has little say in her upbringing.  But as a teenager/young adult, I very much had a say in shutting out the evil.

You took my mother.  You took my family.  You took my childhood.  You took my ability to trust and open up to people.  And you took my blasted church.

But I have true friendships.  And inner peace that comes with leaving the dark lord behind me.  I am not all the way there.  But I am a million times better for walking away from your sick and twisted ways.  My walls have no holes.  I don't own a cleaver.  And my belts are all made of colorful ribbons.  No one is fearful of entering my home.  Screaming and lectures are a thing of my past. 

Inch by inch and year by year, I am learning to feel a little less shameful about my early years. 

I have nothing nice to say,

I know some of this has already been discussed on this blog in earlier Monster Monday posts.  I also know that this is not particularly well-written.  But it's OK as I write these for myself.  I have been on a journey to find true forgiveness in my heart for both my mother and her husband, Satan, for about 16 months now.  This is part of my process to let go of the past...

Monday, May 30, 2011

White Pants and Peepers and Stuff

Do you wear white after Easter, Memorial Day or year round? 

I grew up in South Florida.  Where the seasons are summer and summer and then summer again.  So white was always in.  But I think the rule growing up was white shoes on Easter.  I loathe white shoes in any form so this rule does not apply to my adult life.

Up here in the North Pole, I think the rule is roughly Memorial Day.  Which is great because BOTH of my white capri pants fit me this year.  Neither fit last year.  Hello reason to celebrate and wear lots of white!


I think I have finally made peace with some aspects of blogging.  There are lots of people I know who read this blog.  Secretly.  As in they found it on their own accord.  And while I think that is rude as all get out to not mention it, I am letting it go.  Oh, I'd still like them to tell me.  But I am moving on.  Happy reading. 

What I have not yet made peace with are the rude comments.  I am a seriously non-controversial person.  Both in blogville and in real life.  Please go find someone else to pick on.  If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  Or start your own blog and say negative things over there. 


I sort of figured out my commenting issues.  I am only able to comment on blogs who have comment boxes that look like mine.  So with or without the word verification, if they look like mine, I am able to comment.  If you have a wordpress or similar type comment box, I am also able to comment.  BUT if you have the kind of comment box where you have to scroll back down after you leave a comment to type in word verification, I am now unable to comment altogether.  I don't yet know why.  Anyone else having similar issues?


I suddenly have some new readers and a few have sent me cute emails that in part, ask me about my daily routine and how I make time to write at 6AM.  I don't.  I promise you I am fast asleep at that hour.  I will let you in on a non-secret.  I write in advance.  Sometimes I write several posts at a time and schedule them to post later in the week. 


I pet a momma goat and her adorable 1 month old baby kids this weekend.  And jumped in a bouncy thing.  Several times.  And loved it.  I need to have a child so I can justify such silliness on a regular basis.


It's finally hot here and I LOVE it.  It feels like summer.  Well-deserved after the winter we just had!


My hair has officially been chopped and brightened.  I feel a million times better.  I don't care if short hair gets criticized.  It just fits my personality better. 


I am suddenly loving Lady Gaga.  What can I say, I don't dig trendy.  I had to make sure she was more than just a one hit wonder. 


Did everyone see that my Bestie is preggers?  I've never seen anyone work harder on a single goal.  She's such an inspiration to me.  Yay Bestie and your baby that now has eyes!!


Today is your last day to enter the Sperry giveaway if you're still interested. 


Happy Memorial day to all.  And a big thank you to all of those who serve and protect our fine nation!  God bless you and God bless America!

Friday, May 27, 2011


I am going to be super busy the next few weeks.  I will do my best to blog but I already know it won't be daily.  But there will be some creativity flowing around the casa de crocodile and photos (I promise) to follow.  Let's all cross our fingers that things turn out as pretty and cute as they are in my head!

Today though I am headed to VT to have lunch, get my Lilly fix, get my hair cut and colored (it's at my shoulders and looking ridiculous at the moment...chop chop chop) and just enjoy my day.

Then it's home to walk the dog and get some work done.  Time is running out for this order.  Yikes.

Saturday is a kiddie birthday party with a jumpy bouncy thingy (do those things have names and at what point did they become the standard for birthday parties?  when i was a kid we only found them at school fairs and such.) and a pony.  Should be quite the event. 

Then it's home to walk the dog and get some work done.  Because time is seriously tick tocking and I am just running out of hours.  Aaaah.

Sunday, if all goes as planned (and it rarely does), I will finish up this order.  Don't worry, I have until Tuesday to finish.  But I would like to cross it of my list as there are a lot of other things on that long list too.

Monday I have to do some sorority stuff I think.  Still waiting on those details but I think that's the plan.  Not really something I am excited about but it needs to be done.  I also have (I think) a JL meeting to learn about my position for next year.  Which is good because I am crazy nervous about it all.  It's so unlike me to be nervous too.  Oh and the dog needs a bath.  That's an event in and of itself.  Neither of us at all enjoys the process and we both end up soggy.  Good times will be had by all for sure!

So much for a holiday weekend, right? 

But the best news is that my busy bee booty is going back to short and bright blonde today.  And all will be right in the world again.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Enough Of That And Other TV Talk

* So I tried watching RHNJ again this week and didn't make it but a few minutes.  It's all just too outlandish for me.  I just cannot believe real people act like the idiots on the RH shows.  That just feel impossible to me.  I've lived all over the east coast and mid-west and have just never seen people get into screaming matches.  So if these fools are for real, I want no part in it.  I don't need to have my blood pressure sky rocket because of a ridiculous reality show. 

* I will however continue to read the Bravo blogs.  I did this last year too.  Because I do sort of want to know what happens.  I just don't want to see it play out.  I know, it makes no sense. 

* I watched all three Oprah farewell shows this week and was overall impressed.  I do not like Will Smith and family so was bummed to see them there.  But really I thought they were a great way to go out.  The first two were over the top star studded.  And the final show was just so Momma O.  She went out on top and looked great doing it.

* Loving the Oprah behind the scenes show on OWN.  Plus it's like the shows on Bravo- it's on all the time.  So it doesn't matter that I have no clue when it first airs.  It's on a loop. 

* I didn't realize Rosie was going to have her show on the Oprah stage in Chicago.  Did y'all?  Or am I the only one who cares?  I LOVE Rosie!  So I am excited to see how that all comes together.  But I am just surprised it's not going down in NYC.  You know, where Ro and the family live.  Not that people can't move...

* Funny story about Rosie and her former show.  So when Bestie and I were in college, we got tickets (Amazing tickets actually- I think they were like 4th row, center or something crazy good like that.) to see Jekyll and Hyde at the Fox in Atlanta.  We are both Broadway geeks so this was sooo up our alley.  We were pumped and excited for months.  Until a few weeks before the show when we got a flimsy little paper postcard in the mail.  Telling us that the show was cancelled and our money was being refunded.  Crushed!  (This story is going somewhere...I promise!)  But at the time, Rosie's show was a big thing.  And you know how she is like this amazing arts patron and would have every Broadway song and dance number on her stage.  So we had this big plan to write to Rosie and tell her our very sad (SGP - sororitygirlproblem) sob story in hopes that she would bring us to NY to see the show.  I mean, seriously.  Only a 20 year old could really believe this would happen.  I don't think we ever actually wrote to her.  But I am quite sure we talked about it for a long time, making all sorts of ridiculous plans.  To this day I have yet to see the show.  I know the music by heart though if you are ever interested in a little gLeek off.

* What did we think of the gLee season finale?  I liked it but didn't love it.  I just don't love when they do original music for the entire show.  I did however LOVE the scenes with Rachel and Kurt having "breakfast at Tiffany's" and singing on a Broadway stage.  Not going to lie...I teared up.  So sweet.  And are they seniors next year?  Because they talked about having one more year.  I assume the show is not going to pull a 90210 College Years on us so will we have an all new cast?  Or perhaps they will drag senior year out so each semester is a separate season?  More SGP's that consume my thoughts.

* So happy that gLee is moving to Thursdays because I have Junior League on Tuesdays and it was just a real problem in my life to juggle the two.  Ha.

* I know I say this every year but I really do think I am going to stop watch Grey's Anatomy.  It is just beyond dumb now.  I like very few of the characters.  They are out of decent plots.  And I still hold a grudge that they killed George.  Oh and now they are adding in babies.  Adding in babies to an all adult cast is what shows do right before the ship sinks. 

* If you are counting, I will now be down to only watching gLee, Rosie's new show and of course my baby daddy, Anderson Cooper.  Slim pickins these days. 

** Side note...I have tried to comment on bunches of blogs.  Like if you have left a comment here lately, including entering the Sperry giveaway, I've read your blog and attempted to leave a comment.  But blogger won't let me.  So just know that I tried.  And will have to try again this weekend.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Crocs On Rue

While I am not personally a fan, I know that most families are big Croc lovers.  I just thought I would give y'all a head's up that they are on sale at RueLaLa right now. 

If you are unfamiliar, RueLaLa is a sale site that is invite only (just click the link and it is considered an invite).  They run sales for very short periods of time on specific brands.  So for example, right now there is a sale on Crocs, Nicole Miller and Elaine Turner to name a few.  It's where many of us find our best deals on Lilly Pulitzer, Tory Burch, Vineyard Vines, Kate Spade and Lacoste too.  You can sign up to have the weekly sales list emailed to you so that you don't miss out when your favorite brands are coming up.  Because of the great prices and limited quantities, the items do go very quickly.  Read my latest sad sad Lilly P story.  It's a real tear-dropper!  And proof you need to act fast when you spot a great deal.

Anyhoo...I just wanted to give everyone a head's up that they have men's, women's and kid's Crocs on sale right now if you are interested.  I just ordered a pair as part of my dad's father's day gift.  Because unlike me, he thinks they are the bees knees.

A Sperry Good Review

So y'all know how I am hosting a fun giveaway from Sperry?  Well they also generously sent me a pair to test out.  So fun for me!

I have actually long loved Sperry.  I even remember both of my parents wearing Sperry's throughout my childhood, too.  They are just a well-loved and respected classic in both quality and style.  They are awesome for boating as they have white/pale rubber bottoms.  All of us who grew up learning to swim and sail before learning to walk and ride, know the importance of a white rubber bottom shoe!

But more than that, they are sooo comfortable!  Designed to let your feet breathe well and support your body well.  They are just at the peak of comfort.  And something I really appreciate is that they are adjustable.  I have the skinniest piggies ever.  My feet and ankles are quite narrow.  (If only I could say the same about my waist, too!)  Sperry makes it so easy to add or subtract width simply by re-tying the bow.  It's the little details that make such a big difference in life!

These photos were taken the moment they arrived but I have since re-tied them with barrels.  I'm all sorts of old school like that.

I also want to point out how well they ship their products.  The shoes were stuffed at the toe with tissue and then this hard cardstock shoe form insert.  There was just no doubt that the shoes would remain perfect after shipping so well. 

And at first I was unsure about owning this particular pattern.  It looked in the image like it was going to be mostly blues.  And I honestly wear very little blue.  But they really are such a pretty mix of blue, green and pink.  I ADORE them and plan on wearing them all over the east coast this summer!

If anyone has yet to enter for their chance to win a pair of Sperry Top-Siders, what are you waiting for?  There's still plenty of time left to enter.  It's easy peasy.  So go forth and enter... 

Monday, May 23, 2011

Now What?

For the first time since I began volunteering, my kids aren't my responsibility for the summer.  Closed for construction.  No room at the inn.  So they're all leaving me.  Which I have been super excited about for the last six months.  But after saying goodbye and finishing business over the last few days, I have to admit that I'm suddenly a little bit sad about it.

I am actually going to miss them.  There are lots of frustrating situations, but the sweet girls sure do make me laugh a heck of a lot.  Momma is a tad sentimental about her babies leaving the nest. 

What's wrong with me?

I have been counting down the weeks until my mini-brain break for the summer.  I have a looong list of projects that have been begging my attention.  Some have been begging for years now.  Food projects, garden projects, volunteer projects, organizational projects, sewing projects, cleaning projects, personal projects, professional projects and then some.  When was the last time I showed you a sewing project on here?  Exactly.  I truly need this summer break.  I need to find the bippity boppity boo side of myself again.  The all pink crayons all the time side.  The "oh that's what the top of my desk looks like" side.  The blogs regularly side.

But...I am still a little sad to see so many of my favorite peaches scatter for the summer.  I feel a smidge nekkid without that extra to-do list nagging at me.  Not quite sure what to do with myself.  But hopefully it involves my sewing machine and filing cabinet (though not at the same time).

And for those who have not already, don't forget to enter the fantastic Sperry giveaway!

Corn Cob Jelly

The other day I commented on another blog that I made corn cob jelly.  Discussion ensued.  I looked for the blog post but it seems I never blogged about it?  I don't even know how that's possible.  I should have at least mentioned to y'all that I made jelly from corn cobs.  That's certainly blog worthy.  So I don't have photos but in the end the jelly is a very pale yellow color - nearly clear if you don't add food coloring.  And the flavor is very similar to honey.  It's great on or in anything you would use either jelly or honey.  Toast, sandwiches, as a glaze for fruit tarts, over cream cheese with crackers, on ham, etc...  It's a very waste not, want not recipe.  But I am going to try to find a lower sugar version this year.  If anyone has one, I'd love to try it.


* 6-12 ears of corn, depending on what's hanging around your house
* 6 cups of water
* 1 box powdered fruit pectin
* 4 cups sugar
* yellow food coloring

* Cut corn off cobs.  Reserve for another recipe/use.
* In a large pot, boil cobs and water.  (I don't think I used all 12 ears but use your best judgement.)
* Boil for 10 minutes.  Remove and discard corn cobs.  Strain liquid through fine strainer or cheesecloth or clean, wide weave dish towel.
* You will need 3 cups of liquid.  Add water if necessary.
* Return liquid to pot and add pectin.  Bring to full boil.
* Add sugar.  Bring to boil.  Boil for one more minute.
* Remove from heat.  Skim any foam.  Add a few drops of food coloring to desired color.
* Poor into sterilized jelly jars.  Add lids, rings and process in water bath for 10 minutes.
* Allow to cool as normal until jelly sets.  Setting will take several hours.

It's really a very simple process.  Takes under and hour from start to finish.  And makes a lovely addition to a hostess gift or morning breakfast.  People will think you're crazy at first but then request more the next time they see you.  Enjoy!

So here's the thing about me.  I LOVE canning.  But I don't actually eat jams and jellies all that often.  I just like the process of making them.  So bizarre.

Next time I make this I will try to remember to take photos.  But it's a very pale yellow color.  Just lovely really!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

4 Years

I just thought to look to see when I began blogging and realized that May 08th was my four year birthday.

In the last four years...
*I've written a lot of dumb posts.
*Admitted to watching a lot of crap TV.
*Talked a lot about Lilly Pulitzer.
*Shown way too many photos of shoes I've purchased (and probably didn't really need).
*Seen every last friend get married.
*Seen most of my friends have babies.
*Seen many of my friends have second babies.
*Volunteered.  A lot.
*Complained about it.  A lot.
*Come full circle and fallen back in love with both volunteer gigs.
*Taken on too much.
*Admitted as much and did nothing more about it.
*Talked about politics.
*Deleted all posts about politics due to comments.
*Blogged several times about my dislike of blogs making me type a word verification while holding my breath and standing on my head and reciting the Gettysburg Address backwards and doing high kicks.
*Typed in the word verifications anyway.
*Traveled to weddings.  A lot.
*Found myself completely out of weddings in which I will be bridesmaiding because all of my girls are hitched.
*Sewn.  A lot.
*Sworn to close my business and work a regular 9-5.
*Not followed through on closing my business and working a regular 9-5.
*But continue to swear it's around the next corner.
*Cooked.  A lot.
*But not as much as I should.
*Gone gluten free.
*And dairy free.
*But then went dairy full a few weeks later when I realized I could not part with good cheese and yogurt.
*Become a lover of almond milk.
*Went gluten full in March the day before my fashion show.
*Regretted it and have re-committed to be gluten free.
*Except for two crust pies.  Because pie is sacred at the casa de crocodile.
*Blogged step-by-step with photos how to make your own pie crust.
*Likely convinced no one to make their own pie crust.
*Gained a LOT of weight.
*Lost a little of that weight.  But really very little.
*Seen my fur baby show signs of aging.  And cried in fear.
*Seen myself show signs of aging.  And cried in fear.
*Not yet spotted any gray hairs.  And rejoiced for a small victory. Even though I color my hair and honestly don't care.
*Gone from not ever wanting children to being consumed by wanting children.
*Shared a few of my less than happy childhood experiences (Monster Mondays).
*Thanked God for the courage to share as I have seen it help others.  Shock of all shocks.
*Given up some dreams. 
*Questioned why.  A lot.
*Made new friends.
*And thanks to giving in and joining Facebook, I've managed to keep most of the old friends too.
*Made in real life friends from my blog.
*Made if we are ever in the same state we will surely be in real life friends from my blog.
*Gone from not telling a soul I was blogging. To telling Bestie.  To finding out lot of friends were reading it.  To not caring and just telling anyone about it.
*Have not found a church home that feels right.
*But have not done a great job at searching and giving second chances either.
*Have had regrets.
*Have had small but lovely successes.
*Have floundered.
*Have learned new skills.
*Have found a lot of clarity.
*Have felt old.
*And sometimes young.
*Until I talk to my kids and realize I am not young.

I have no idea what the next 12 days will bring, let alone the next 12 months.  But I hope to find more clarity.  More peace.  More motivation to blog.  And more laughter.

Thanks for being such a big part of my life, girls (and a few guys too)!  You're the best friends I've never met.  A constant source of laughter and encouragement and love and creativity and fashion and fun!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


I had shrimp skewers in the fridge ready for dinner until I read Annie's blog.  Then I decided to change my dinner plans. Her salad looked so good that I had to make my own version for dinner.  Sooo glad I did- this was amazingly delicious.  Oh and I am not using measurements because you can really add as much or little of everything as you want.  So use your best judgement.

Spinach or mesclun greens

* Dice onion small.  Place in microwave safe bowl and cover with paper towel.  Cook for two minutes or until translucent.  This takes the bite out of the onion without over cooking.

* Dice tomatoes and avocados.  I like them big and chunky. 

* Add the onions, tomatoes and avocados to a bowl.  Add juice of 1-2 limes, depending on how much you are making.  Toss evenly.  Add salt and pepper to taste.

* Saute or grill peeled and de-tailed shrimp.  I first tossed mine in a little lime juice, salt and pepper.  Then sauteed them in a tiny bit of EVOO.  Cook just until they turn pink- 2-3 mins max. 

* Add shrimp to avocado veggie bowl.  Toss.  You might want to add the juice of another lime depending on how much juice you want in the end.  Pop in the fridge for 20 mins to chill and let flavors blend.

* Add big bed of spinach greens to bowl.  Top with the shrimp avocado mix and add the juice to serve as salad dressing.  Enjoy!

I then made myself a smoothie and it was really the perfect nearly summer treat.  I dumped it all in the blender and let it go to town for a minute.  Serves one. 

1 container of yogurt (I used peach tonight)
1/4 cup frozen fruit (I used peaches)
Splash of milk or juice (I used almond milk)
1/2 frozen banana (when they start to turn I pop them in the freezer to use for smoothies and breads)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I Gave In And Watched

I did.  Two years ago I swore I would only watch Real Housewives of New Jersey again if Danielle was off the show.  Actually, I've not watched any RH shows in two years.  It's just been better for my health that way really.

But Danielle finally got the boot.  So I watched.  And well, I'm going to give it one more episode.  But I have a feeling this affair will end as quickly as it started. 

First, I just cannot get over the outfits that any of the RH (in any city) wear.  The pink one sleeve shiny sparkly number that Melissa wore to her son's Christening...what was that?  She looked like she was hitting the clubs, not a religious event.  And OMG tell me I am not the only one who threw up a little when in the car on the way to church she said to the baby, you're going to Jesus' Kingdom!  Um...that's Heaven, honey.  Just a creepy thing to say.  Let's hope the cute little baby stays healthy on Earth for a good long time.

I suspect that the feud between Teressa and her brother Joey (personal pet peeve for grown adult men to use baby names) is the blame of both of them, but mostly their huge egos.  Joey, the dad, ruined his baby's event.  Here's how I see it.  They invited Teressa and her family to the event.  They bitched when she was late to church and bitched that Joe didn't come to church and bitched that Gia didn't come to church.  Then they bitched that Teressa doesn't love their family.  Then bitched that she and Joe were dancing and loving on the baby.  Then bitched that Joe didn't want to do shots (who does shots at a religious event??). Then called Teressa garbage when she came up to say congrats.  I am sure T is to blame for a lot of stuff too.  But the chaos of that day was entirely due to the baby's own father, Joey.  And what was that "your my father" (ala Meredith's famously pathetic "pick me, choose me" to Derek on Grey's moment) scene outside?

I have a feeling that woman Kathy is going to be the pot stirrer.  AKA the new Danielle. 

Melissa (little miss sparkly shiny church dress) is super pretty.

As always, Jacqueline and Carolyn are my favorites.  Though I had so hoped that my real favorite, Dina, would be back on this season.  Sad.

So I am going to give it one more week.  But I have a feeling Teressa's family will just be way too much for me to stomach.  Feeling nervous and getting a headache are just not how I like to spend my evenings relaxing.

Monday, May 16, 2011


Few brands are as synonymous with a preppy summer wardrobe than Sperry Top-Siders.  They are old school, tried and true, top quality, and classic.  A timeless addition to any summer outfit.  Our parents wore them.  Our children will wear them.  And one lucky Preppy Pink Crocodile reader will wear a brand new pair very soon!

What will you win?  Your choice of one of the following styles...

Men's 75th Anniversary CVO

Men's Authentic Original Canvas Boat Shoe - Olive

Women's Cloud Logo Authentic Original 2-Eye Boat Shoe - Liberty Ditsy Floral

In addition to the giveaway here, Sperry is hosting an incredible sweepstakes on their website too. 

10 Second Prize winners will receive a Sperry Top-Sider beach bag filled with a beach towel and a pair of Sperry Top-Siders.

2 First Prize winners will receive a Sony Cybershot Digital Camera and a pair of Sperry Top-Siders.

And ONE GRAND PRIZE WINNER will receive a 1 week summer share in Nantucket with up to 5 friends!!

The details of the Preppy Pink Crocodile Sperry Top-Sider giveaway...

One winner will be chosen at random on May 30, 2011 at 12:00 AM.  Winner will be notified by me via email and posted on this blog.  Winner will have 48 hours to contact me before a new winner is chosen.  You do not need to have a blog to enter the giveaway but you must include your email address in your comment(s) to be entered.  If your blog does not have a listed email address, you must also list your email address in your comment(s).  ALL ENTRIES MUST BE IN A SEPARATE COMMENT.  Open to US shipping addresses only.

(1) Entry.  REQUIRED.  Go HERE and browse the amazing Sperry styles.  Come back here to tell me in a comment about your favorite style. 

(1) Entry.  Tell me which of the three styles shown above you would like most to win.  Leave your answer in a comment.

(1) Entry.  Go HERE and enter yourself in Sperry's amazing sweepstakes.  Come back here to tell me you did so in a comment.

(1) Entry.  Follow this blog.  Tell me are a follower- regardless of being a new friend or an old friend- in a comment.

(5) Entries.  Blog about this giveaway.  Include a link to this specific post.  Come back here to tell me you did so with a link to your post please in a comment.

So there you go.  I almost always regret making these giveaways so complicated- ha!  But it's also sort of more fun to give everyone several chances to win.  I mean, really, who doesn't need a new pair of cute shoes?!  And if not for yourself, perhaps for an upcoming father's day prezzie.

Again, please note the one required entry.  Also note that each must be left in a separate comment so that I don't go crazy trying to organize this please!

Get Ready

I have been trying to get this next post up for days now.  But blogger was down and then it decided to not post things.  Actually, that's an ongoing problem I've been having with all of my blogs.  I schedule something. I triple check that it really is scheduled and not just in draft.  It is.  I check a 19th time.  It is.  Two days go by and I realize the post never posted.  I look.  It switched to draft. 

Over and over and over again this is happening to me. 

I know that everyone is switching to Wordpress but I just can't.  I don't like it.  If you blog in Wordpress and I read your blog, it's because I really really like you.  I think commenting is a pain in the ass.  I don't like that you can't follow (my main way of reading blogs).  And it's unfamiliar.  By now you should know that I am a total creature of habit. 

So instead I whine and complain about blogger and it's many failures.

But friends, today is seriously THE DAY.  For a giveaway.  It's going to be sperry exciting!

So hold on to your hats and kick off your shoes...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I've blog slacked lately.  I've been busy.  I've been busy.  And mostly, I've been uninspired. 

That's the truth.

Sometimes you feel like a blogger, and sometimes you don't. 

Most of the time, I can go about my day and "write" a dozen blog posts in my head.  Now of course, very few of those actually make it from random crazy person thoughts to blog posts.  And very few of those are what I would refer to as particularly "inspired."  But I think most of y'all know what I mean that sometimes, you just wake up with nothing to say. 

And so I've been a smidge on the silent side for a while now.  I so wanted to blog though.  Truly.  I feigned a few lame-o posts.  But for the most part, I've just felt out of things to say.

I've not even been reading as much as I used to.  That's been strange.  I feel like I don't really know what's up with so many of my dear bloggy friends. 

So I am making a concerted effort to come back.  With a bang.  Tomorrow...well it's going to be exciting.  So hang on dear friends.  You don't want to miss tomorrow!

In the mean time, let's discuss my latest bizarre SGB.  (Single Girl Behavior, for those who don't have every Carrie Bradshaw-ism memorized.)

I crave.  Like all day, every day sometimes.  CRAVE.  Mustard.  Spicy brown mustard.  I have always liked mustard and loathed mayo.  But I can't say I have ever wanted to squeeze the bottle into my mouth.  (Which for the record, I have not actually done.  But I've thought about it.  Just keeping things honest around here.) 

All weekend, I googled ice cream makers.  Because I am convinced that making a variety of mustard (and other ingredient) ice creams will be the end all, be all to my summer happiness.  Who does that?

In addition to my very strange mustard cravings, I suddenly have a thing for celery.  Now it's not like I never liked celery.  It's fine.  It's just sort of like one step up from ice berg lettuce to me.  (Don't even get me started on my bewilderment on why anyone would actually buy or eat ice berg lettuce...I have no capacity to understand it's point.  Crunchy water.  Like a melting ice chip.  That's not a vegetable...it's a vessel to consume Ranch dressing.)  But lately, celery just sounds like the best snack ever. 

Which totally makes you think I am on some health kick.  But I usually add peanut butter and that pretty much negates any minor health benefit.  Fear not, dear friends, I have not found my way back to skinny.  Or even less chubby.

So last night, around 11PM, I started craving...wait for it...celery with cream cheese and spicy brown mustard.  Like any semi-sane person, I ignored said craving.  But I could not fall asleep last night.  I'd had an ice coffee in the afternoon.  Always a mistake.  So I was wide awake.  And around 1:30AM, I got up and gave in.  I cut a few pieces of celery, added some cream cheese (I've not had this combo since Easter brunch circa 1985.) and topped it all with spicy brown mustard. 

I stood in the kitchen, at 1:30AM, and gleefully devoured my slightly past midnight snack. 

Most of the time, I very much wish, pray, and yearn for a family.  But every once in a blue moon, I find moments when I acknowledge that this silly, joyful moment could only happen when single.  Only a single girl or a pregnant girl could stand in her pj's in the kitchen in the middle of the night eating such a bizarre snack without any shame.

So I admitted to LOVING celery with cream cheese and mustard.  Your turn.  What's your silly SGB (or former SGB)?

Monday, May 2, 2011

Good Words

"I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Disney Movie On Crack

Holy emotional weekend.  It started with the fairytale of a lifetime and ended with the death of pure evil.  Sort of like a Disney movie on crack.  I've cried buckets all weekend for people I will never meet.  Is that strange?  Tell me I am not alone here.

In fact, the capture and kill of Osama Bin Laden is possibly the only thing that could make cable networks stop running the royal wedding on a constant loop.  Not that I was complaining.  I watched it about three times. 

While watching the news coverage of Bin Laden's kill, I was instantly brought back to that day.  Like everyone else, I know exactly where I was standing (next to my dresser) and what I was wearing (a yellow towel- just got out of the shower- I still have that set of towels to use for the dog) and what I was thinking (Katie Couric has lost her mind...no way a plane flew into a building....this is why I never watch morning TV...why did I turn this on today...I should turn this off...OMG there's another plane...).  But my most prominent memory of 09/11 is actually that afternoon.  Life paused.  So I was home from classes and my roommate was home from work.  And we were sitting in our living room together just watching TV.  Not sure what to make of everything happening around us.  We had both talked to our families- all were safe.  And then...what?  It was sort of that in between period.  Immediate panic was over.  I was in Indy so I didn't really feel worried at that very moment for my own safety.  But no one knew really where to go or what to do that evening.  I remember that blank, empty feeling.  The uncertainty and unease.  The long pause before you looked up to say, "now what?"  For me, thinking about that day immediately brings me back to that hollowness.  I didn't like that feeling then and I don't like it now.  The feeling is fresh and immediate and feels very present with just the phrase "nine eleven."

It's so new, that I am not sure I would say this victory feels like closure.  But perhaps in a few days, it will feel that way a bit more.  Also, I feel so strange celebrating a death. Even of a horrible terrible person. It still feels bizarre to be happy about death.  It does however remind me that we are not donkeys and elephants (Two animals that are not native to our own country, by the way.  Actually they both have origins in Africa.  Chew on that for a spell.) and tea bags (Make the non-native animals looks so much better, don't they?).  We are one nation.  I hate how the media immediately made this political.  Sometimes, some things are just about doing what is right.  It was right to capture that evil soul.  From the bits released tonight, it seems that this has been in the works for quite some time.  I'm incredibly impressed that the bravery from the President on down to the soldiers who took part in this mission.  I am grateful that we have so many people working hard to keep us safe.  I hope people focus on the actions of skilled soldiers and the President's great words, and ignore all this blue vs red vs Donald Trump bologna. 

The United States of America captured and killed a man who terrorized not only our country, but the entire globe, for a very long time!  As my Martha would say, "it's a good thing!"

And is anyone else rooting for Harry and Pippa (adore that name, by the way) to have next royal wedding?


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